Brea's Befuddled Brain

I'm Still Alive...

2010-08-19T16:20:00.003+10:00

Hello Peoples.

VERY quick update. I am not here to complain and whinge!

I've been getting emails and comments asking how I am and I just wanted to say THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.

I miss you guys!

I'm still not well, the doctors still seem stumped at this stage so I'm still feeling yukky and in pain.

Never fear!

For what it's worth...

I WILL get better.

I WILL have a positive attitude.

I WILL keep my sense of humour.

I WILL be back soon.

Lots of Love,

Yes I was dead. But I got better. Thanks for asking.

2010-07-12T12:33:00.002+10:00

To everyone who has sent me concerned emails or facebook messages these past few weeks. I really appreciate it. Thank you.

I know I haven't been around much, and when I have, my posts have been insipid and meaningless. I'm sorry about that.

I've been trying to get my health under control. I didn't want to come on here sounding like I'm whining again. I wanted to come back and write this wonderful, insightful, hilarious post, and then have everyone come racing back to me, telling me how much you missed me, and that your lives are now complete because of my inspiring words.

However. To be honest, I haven't been great. And I'm not going to sugar-coat it just because some people don't like narcissistic, "poor me" posts. The truth is I'm STILL waiting for a diagnosis as to why I am bleeding and in pain. I had another round of tests last week, another Gastroscopy, another CAT scan, more X-Rays, and, of course, the ever present blood tests. You'd think they'd come up with something more original by now.

I'm exhausted. And I'm pissed.

My arms have been totally massacred, and I look like a junkie.

So. Not. Cool.

See for yourself. This picture is the aftermath of them trying to put in a drip. It's a *bit* blurry, sorry, I took it with my left hand. And I was on drugs. And not even the good ones either.

The drip ended up in my other arm. Witness the beautiful job they did there too.

Oh, and here too.

Moving on...

The general consensus so far seems to be Diverticulitis, a condition that usually affects the elderly. Fan-f**king-tastic. Now I'm getting old before my time. Pretty soon I'll be wearing my pants tucked into my socks and telling Tomika to "turn that bloody music down!" Hang on... I already do that. Shit.

However, to throw another spanner in the works, the Gastroscopy showed three large (I'm talking 1cm each here people!), Gastric ulcers, and lots of polyps in my stomach and intestines. They took a biopsy to check for "the big C" among other things, and, you know, because everyone wants a piece of me, and apparently bleeding me dry like Vampires is no longer enough for them. Now they want my flesh too. Next thing I know they'll have me strapped unconscious to a sacrificial slab cutting me open... Wait... They already did that. I am tossing up whether my doctors are really Voodoo medicine men in disguise, or bloody ghouls. Either way I'm pretty sure I'm a goner.

It's the waiting that's killing me. Not knowing what is wrong. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I asked the doctors the other day why they didn't just Cryogenically freeze me, and bring me back when they work out what's wrong. I thought that it was a wonderful idea. But they dashed my dreams of being frozen and hung on the wall like Han Solo, by telling me that would defeat the purpose as they needed me to let them know my symptoms so that they can diagnose me. Apparently you can't talk when you're frozen, or so they tell me. Go figure.

Whatever. I reckon they're just sadistic.

Anyway, gotta go. I'm meeting my Gastroenterologist.

I think I'm getting the results of my biopsy... I want to know, and yet some part of me doesn't. Wow, conflicted much?

Wish me luck!

P.S. (Here's a little giggle-worthy pressie for you. These are the undies they made me wear during the procedure, (photo taken before I put them on, promise!), I laughed for at least half an hour.)

Everybody sing, ♪♪I'm too sexy for my undies, too sexy for my undies, so sexy it hurts...♪♪

This Is NOT For The Faint Hearted...

2010-06-30T23:05:00.003+10:00

Or children. Or married people. Or little old ladies with sensibilities that offend very easily. In fact it's pretty much purely for my own voyeuristic pleasure. Sue me.

You will need sound... and possibly a cold shower.

Ok. I'm done now. Seriously.

I'm obsessed... i.e. Find me a REAL man STAT!

2010-06-27T18:30:00.003+10:00

Okay so all this doctor ordered rest and relaxation has done wild and crazy things to me and, more importantly... and weirdly... my libido.

In my utterly bored pain-killer fuelled internet surfing I have found, wait for it ladies...

The gorgeous Mr Wentworth Earl Miller III*. And he's LEGAL!!! In fact, he's older than me, so more the better. I have actually spent countless hours looking at pictures of him. Pathetic huh? I feel like a moronic teenager with a star-filled-eye crush!

The most beautiful man in the world!
A man so perfectly formed, it's as if he were sculpted by the Gods themselves...

And if that's not enough to convince you, how about this one?

*sigh*

However, until such time as I have a real live red-blooded man that I can touch and...sniff and...stuff.... I am declaring to the world at large.

Ms Befuddled... is in luurve!

__________

* See my post about Prison Break. Apparently Went stuck in my head after watching this for some ~~sexy~~ strange reason...

OH DEAR GOD KILL ME. KILL ME NOW...

2010-06-24T16:28:00.008+10:00

Ok. So remember the pain scale* I talked about in my last post? The one where I said I was currently sitting on a (6)?

Scrap that. I had to venture out into the REAL world today. I had to actually DRIVE my old dilapidated manual 1985 Mazda, which is an adventure at the best of times...

So right now I'm hovering around a (13).

I'm pretty sure that means I'm dying.

Tell my daughter I love her.........

___________
* Thanks again to Allie.

SOO... Apparently my poo-shooter exploded.

2010-06-21T23:25:00.006+10:00

(True story. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.)

Well. After being deathly ill for days on end, and constantly telling the Doctors that something wasn't right... And after treating me for my apparent burst cyst for 5 days, the Doctors in their infinite wisdom realised that I wasn't responding to the meds (if you can call a morphine drip meds. Not that I'm really complaining, it almost made up for it, in a woozy, smiley, "What's your name again? Tomika? Pfft. Yeah right!", kinda way), and that totally didn't satisfy them so they decided to do some more tests.

Big. Bloody. Mistake. Seriously.

After poking and prodding me in MOST unpleasant ways, they finally came up with ANOTHER correct diagnosis. Apparently I don't have a burst cyst. Probably.

I guess, Doc, that I was right, Doc, after all. Doc! I can tell the difference between pain in my girly bits, and pain in my... other... bits. I am not a complete moron. I have had a cyst burst on my right ovary that resulted in a miscarriage when I was younger. I know what that feels like. Doc.

Where is MY Dr House when I need him!!!

So the diagnosis TODAY stands at an infected large intestine, with a side order of inflamed bowel, and a glass of fluid on my left lung. A diagnosis however that despite my best efforts, they didn't come to until after I started bleeding from every orifice EXCEPT the one they predicted, and mostly from my... ahem... back-passage. Go figure.

Anyway, I'm out of the clink for now, I got discharged the other day. But I'm back in on Tuesday for more tests, a Gastroscopy, Colonoscopy, and something else I can't remember the name of but I'm sure will be extremely invasive and forced upon my person without benefit of having been bought dinner beforehand...

Fingers crossed they'll find the culprit and I can commence kicking IT'S butt for a change, instead of it kicking mine. Literally.

(Seriously though, I'd like to thank the nurses at both hospitals for the wonderful care they took of me while I was there. Especially Zac in Austin Emergency who sat and cuddled me while I cried when none of the pain killers were working. And Julie the night nurse at the Mercy Women's who spoiled me rotten, and woke me up every 2 hours through the night for my medications so that I wouldn't wake up in the morning in agony. Thanks heaps. Really.)

With that, I shall leave you with some lovely images of my stay in casa del Mercy, and the Austin plaza for your enjoyment.

Wish me luck!

__________

* The following photo's relate to my previous post. You might want to go have a read if you already haven't. But then if you haven't already read this post, you don't know what the hell I am rambling about, and I should probably just shut up now...

Beautiful beautiful morphine drip, what ever would I do without you...

See those horses? Yes, them. They are NOT horses, they are Unicorns with Bourbon in their horns. And apparently the only way to get the bourbon out is to cut the tip off the horn, grab the mane, stick your hand up it's bum and pour like a teapot... Yeah. I don't know either.

Oh and Jesus there? Minding his own business right? Wrong. He has a skipping rope, and his crucifix is a pogo stick so that he can jump rope... Yep. No idea.

Gotta love that morphine!

I think at this point I should explain my pain situation.

This is a normal pain scale... *1

However, This more accurately expresses how I felt at the time...

Revised pain scale... *2

I fluctuated between (8) and (too serious for numbers). Yeah. Nice huh? Currently I'm sitting on a (6).

Can someone email me some drugs?

__________

*1. Current International pain rating scale. See below for interpretation. *3

*2. Pain rating scale that should be globally recognised for it's accuracy. See below for interpretation. *4

*3. 0: Haha! I'm not wearing any pants!

2: Awesome! Someone just offered me a free hot dog!
4: Huh.  I never knew that about giraffes.
6: I'm sorry about your cat, but can we talk about something else now? I'm bored.
8:  The ice cream I bought barely has any cookie dough chunks in it. This is not what I expected and I am disappointed.
10:  You hurt my feelings and now I'm crying!

*4. 0: Hi. I am not experiencing any pain at all. I don't know why I'm even here.

1:  I am completely unsure whether I am experiencing pain or itching or maybe I just have a bad taste in my mouth.
2: I probably just need a Band Aid.
3:   This is distressing. I don't want this to be happening to me at all.
4: My pain is not fucking around.
5:   Why is this happening to me??
6:   Ow.  Okay, my pain is super legit now.

7: I see Jesus coming for me and I'm scared. (<== Refer to above photo of Jesus, I'm seeing pattern here...)
8: I am experiencing a disturbing amount of pain. I might actually be dying. Please help.
9: I am almost definitely dying.
10: I am actively being mauled by a bear.
11: Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment.
Too Serious For Numbers: You probably have ebola, or stomach AIDS. It appears that you may also be suffering from Stigmata and/or pinkeye

*5. Pain scale pictures and interpretations by the wonderfully talented Allie at Hyperbole and a Half. Check her out, she's hilarious! And scarily accurate... GET OUT OF MY HEAD ALLIE!!!

This post is brought to you via the Mercy Womens Hospital...

2010-06-13T18:23:00.003+10:00

Please excuse the following post, it has been induced by morphine euphoria, and written entirely on my phone. So Tuesday morning (2nd June) I woke up vomiting blood. Not a great deal of blood, but no matter what angle I turned the bucket, it still remained the same. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the stuff that is supposed to be INSIDE you, not outside? Anyway, I stubbornly told myself that it was an anomaly, and tried to go back to sleep. I would have succeeded too if not for the niggling pain in my mid section. I kept vomiting bits of blood all that day so I made a docs appointment for the next morning. Not expecting anything major, I dropped Tomika at school and went to my appointment. After a VERY uncomfortable and embarrassing visit where he checked out EVERY possible orifice, he blandly said, "Well I don't know what's wrong, but I do know that vomiting blood isn't a good thing so I'm going to send you off to hospital. I'm calling the ambulance now, do you have your wallet and ID on you?" Whoa. Okay... Umm, Doc? Did you say hospital? Apparently he did, because here I am, and have been since Wednesday afternoon (3rd June). I have been poked, prodded and pricked, and not in a good way either! The upside is that I'm on morphine and another drug that does magical things to the walls and apparently creates unicorns out of horse paintings, skipping rope Jesus out of the obligatory crucified Jesus, and turns my young Doctor into an illegally cute McDreamy. The downside is that after a full 20 hours of, "So where does it hurt again? Here and here? That's okay, we can get the janitor to scrape you off the ceiling... Again." they finally told me I have a burst cyst on my left ovary, and I probably have to have an operation to remove it before it poisons me. Fun times. Did I mention the morphine?

Days Of Our Lives - The Coordinator From Hell... Part 2

2010-05-26T13:33:00.001+10:00

I'm going to preface this by saying, I am usually pretty level headed about most things, and I deal with them in a sometimes unsettlingly calm manner. And if my friends are any indication, I also give fairly good advice. Unless you mess with my daughter. Or the rest of my family. Or my friends. Or me. But mostly Tomika. 'Nuff said.

I originally had this post as a reply to the nice comments I received on my previous post, but it got WAAYY to long, so now it's here instead. If you don't know what I'm harping on about, you can go here to catch up.

Go on. I'll wait.

All good?

Okay then, moving on.

Thank you everyone all for your lovely comments and emails. It's great to get some feedback from other Mums on this issue. I was up all night after sending the email to Tomika's Coordinator, thinking, "Oh God, what have I done!"

It just really annoyed me that she was so condescending in her reply to my (initial) very polite email about the third new teacher for not only one subject, but three, being Science/Math/Health (same teacher), in three months, and my concern that Tomika was having trouble understanding her. These are critical subjects in her education, herein lies my problem.

I have met this coordinator woman once before at Parent Teacher interviews, and she had nothing good to say about Tomika at all. In fact I got the feeling that she just didn't like her, and she's not even one of her teachers! That's HER problem though, NOT Tomika's. If, however, I find out that my child is being discriminated against because of this woman's opinion or, God forbid, my complaint, she won't have to worry about harmless electronic mail, she'll have to watch her back! *1

The really sad part is that up until recently, Tomika was especially excited to study Science and the many wonderful new avenues the subject was opening up for her. She even went so far as to buy 6 different Science books by Dr Karl out of her own pocket money, before the school year had even started, and she devoured them in a matter of weeks (it took her months to read Twilight). However, that has changed with the commencement of this new teacher. Her interest has waned significantly because of her inability to follow along without huge effort on her behalf. She feels uncomfortable asking questions because then she would have to admit out loud that she can't understand the teacher's accent and, would you believe it, she was trying to spare the teacher's feelings!

I would go in and see the coordinator and the new teacher in person, if I wasn't afraid I might get emotional and bonk them both in the nose! *1

It's bloody frustrating to see Tomika's natural curiosity dampened like that over a stupid staffing issue at her school. You hear about things like this happening all the time, but you never dream that it will happen to you or your child. Tomika didn't have any serious problems at Primary School, aside from the normal testing the boundaries that kids all go through, all her teachers loved her and said she was a great kid who tries her hardest to impress. Possibly too hard in some cases.

Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no illusions when it comes to my daughter, as anyone who reads this blog can attest. But there are things that you just know about your child, about how far they will go in testing someone, before they are satisfied that they have pushed to the limit. And if I pull her up and question her about something, she usually crumbles into a teary mess and admits what she's done. This time she got upset for a different reason, and I could tell the difference straight away. She was fully indignant that she had been accused of, and punished, for something that wasn't her doing.

Is it any wonder that I'm upset? And now, apparently, I'm also rambling.

Grrr... I can't wait to hear her response!

Stay tuned for the next instalment of Days Of Our Lives. Oh wait... It only feels like I'm in a bad serial TV soap!

__________

*1. Figuratively, not literally. I am actually extremely anti-violence, and quite mild-mannered. Also, infuriatingly, I usually totally back down when confronted by an actual person (hence the email). Give me a pen and paper though, (or in this case, a PC and internet connection) and I will strongly-worded-letter you to death! *2

*2. Well not to death as such .*4 More to distraction. *3

*3. Okay, so maybe not to distraction either. But I'll have a damn good go at annoying you for a minute or two!

*4. I would hate it if someone were to actually die from one of my letters. That would be terrible. Or interesting. A paper cut to the jugular perhaps? Braining themselves on the PC desk? Decisions, decisions... *5

*5. The above point may or may not be a complete lie. Feel free to ignore it at your leisure. Or not. I'm convinced I'm currently totally bonkers and sleep deprived, and I think I'd best take another valium and have a bit of a lie down before I say something completely moronic and undermine all the good I've done in the past 24 hours. Like that. *6

*6. Now I'm confused, what was the question again?

Oh No (S)he Didn't! Tuesday... Pick on my daughter will you? TAKE THAT!

2010-05-25T23:57:00.002+10:00

Dear Middle School Coordinator,

Thank you for your response regarding my concerned email about Tomika's needing to follow the third-in-three-months new Maths/Science/Health teacher by what is written on the board, because of her inability to understand her or even pronounce her name.

Thank you also for the information, but I am fully aware of the conduct card that Tomika was given. She informed me the same day she got it, and told me of the circumstances under which she earned it. She was very upset about it actually, and believes that it was undeserved. Usually when confronted, Tomika will admit her mistake and accept any set punishment, so in this case I am inclined to believe her. Unless there is another incident of which I am unaware, I think that she was well within her rights to stand up for herself against the transgression that she was charged with, and that the card was awarded to her without adequate proof of her supposed crime. I have taught Tomika to respect authority figures, and accept discipline, but more importantly to stand up for herself and what she believes in. Consequently, I do not view the conduct card as of terrible import in the grand scheme of things.

With regard to your feeling that Tomika is not focussed on her learning, I’ll admit that I’m particularly surprised to hear this. Tomika spends several hours every day on Homework, sometimes becoming engrossed to the point of ridiculousness. I know this to be true because her Homework area is in the same room as me. I have also spoken to Tomika’s teachers, all except the new one, and they assure me that they are all happy with Tomika’s progress to date.

In fact, she has just received excellent grades on both her Textiles and English schoolwork, and upon speaking with her English teacher I was told he was extremely impressed with her dedication and organisation on her recent Images of Greatness assignment. In addition, her German teacher tells me she is doing well and her attitude in class is great, and her Music teacher is so happy with her swift comprehension and completion of set tasks along with her work ethic, she could not praise her highly enough. She has even suggested that Tomika not only come to her for extra work when she finishes her own, but that she help teach the other children when they need help. This list includes her previous Math/Science/Health teacher who didn’t have a problem with Tomika’s work at all, she actually said that her test scores were improving steadily, and she didn’t even remember the incident that you spoke to me about on the phone that you said was so terrible, even when directly questioned about it.

So in respect of these reports, I would be very interested for you to supply me with a list of the areas in which you think that she requires assistance. If Tomika indeed needs as much help in her classes as you suggest, I question why it is that her actual teachers are telling me differently.

Having said that, none of those things are the subject of my concern, nor what I have initially contacted you about.

I can appreciate your assertion that the new teacher is experienced, however I can’t help but question if the reason Tomika is having troubles in the math/science/health classes are due to her not being able to get comfortable, and therefore invest herself totally into the trust of her teacher, being that there has been so many upheavals with teachers coming and going. Please bear in mind that I am not merely trying to make waves on the say so of my own child who is simply ‘having a whinge’, I am also taking into account the reports that I have heard from other parents with the same worries as myself. I cannot be led to believe that every student that has complained about their inability to understand the new teacher is due to their own folly.

I must add, I find it quite troubling that instead of assuring me that you will look into my concerns about the new teacher, and perhaps offer assistance or alternatives for helping Tomika feel at ease with her, you have greeted my worries by merely thanking me, saying she has worked at the school for a few years and is an outstanding and dedicated teacher, and then taking an offensive stance and blaming Tomika’s supposed lack of focus on her learning.

For the record, Tomika has been at Primary school for the past 7 years, and has been an outstanding and dedicated student the entire time. I sincerely hope that this has made you feel as comforted and encouraged as your affirmation has made me.

Thank you.

Kind Regards,

Indignant Mother

Call Off The Health Department, She's Going To Live!

2010-05-24T11:15:00.003+10:00

Tomika has kicked the virus's butt and is back at school. Thank whatever Deity you like, God *1, Buddha *2, Amun-Ra *3... Batman *4; she's okay. All that angst for nothing.

I feel kinda silly about my last post, I was exhausted and emotional, and after reading it again I seriously considered deleting it. But you know what? I won't, because that's me, uncensored. I mean, the BPD aside, I am an emotional person when it comes to my family, especially my daughter, although I'm not usually such a gutter-mouth! So my last post stands, swearing and all. Although I think I'll add a R+ rating warning to it, just to be sure.

Hang on...

Done.

Tomika may be over the worst of it, but I am feeling the pain. I stubbornly fought tooth and nail against it all week, telling myself, like the little engine that could, I will not succumb, I will not succumb, I will not succumb! I couldn't afford to with a sick child to worry about.

However... this morning I woke up with a cough. Just a small cough, a mere tickle. But a cough none-the-less. I have since taken approximately 15 vitamin C tablets, 2 immune defence capsules, 2 shots of cough mixture, a horse-tablet-sized multi-vitamin, and 3 eggs on toast (for good luck). And it's only 11am. Am I over-reacting? You bet I am. I WILL NOT SUCCUMB!

In the spirit of my melodramatic nature, I have shipped Tomika off to her fathers for a week. I am satisfied that she is pretty well over it, and I refuse to have it circle around to her again if it turns out that I am a germ factory. I am determined to fight this bio-warfare independently.

OH! How's this... The Doctor actually had the gall to tell me to, "keep your distance from Tomika, as she will be extremely contagious"... HA! Yeah right! Hello... Doc? Do you actually have children? Y'know the ones, people, only smaller? You try staying away from your own sick child. It's like telling the sun it's not allowed to come up for a week because the stupid Humans can't stay out of it and are dying from skin cancer. A great idea in theory... Not. Gonna. Happen.

So Tomika is at her Dads, I am stubbornly NOT sick, and it's cold as Dante's Ninth Circle of Hell.

Welcome to Winter baby!

__________

*1. God - When I did a Google search on God it came back with about 381,000,000 results in 0.18 seconds. - Holy moly!

*2. Buddha - A Buddha is a person who is completely free from all faults and mental obstructions. - i.e. Me.

*3. Amun-Ra - King of the gods of Egypt. He is believed to be the physical father of all Pharaohs. - (That's a lot of divine sex. I wonder if that's why all the Pharaohs are buried with their pussies? (Yes, I went there.))

*4. Batman - God of six-pack abs and crotch stuffing.

Damn it! Hurt Me. Just Leave Her Alone.

2010-05-22T00:52:00.012+10:00

Firstly - I'm sorry for this post, I'm too drained to censure it, and I have to get it out of my head before the scattered thoughts that are threatening to drink my spine juice and eat my brain from the inside out actually succeed.

2nd - After a night full of delirium filled with horrible nightmares and hallucinations which included crying out for her Mima (my Mum), Tomika's fever finally broke and she is getting better. Thank fuck. I'm positive there are times when I've been more scared by things before this week, but at this exact moment, I can't think of a single one.

There is nothing worse in this world than seeing your baby, your heart and soul, in pain, and not be able to do anything about it. It hurts. It hurts like hell. Deep down in that place that no one ever sees, that place that you don't even know is there until it starts bleeding, it hurts. It rips out your insides and shits all over them.

But you hold it together, because you have to, for her. Because absolute terror is absolutely catching. And that's the last thing she needs to see. You hold it together because you are Mother. And Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.*

So now that she's on the mend, I can be absolutely, bluntly, honest with myself. She scared the fuck outta me, and I don't like it. I don't like it at all. Where the hell was the chapter on this in that bloody parenting book?!

Jesus, right about now is when I really need my Mummy. I just want to hear her tell me that I'm doing it right. Is that so bloody much to ask? She never told me about this before she left. I don't want to look on the internet for the answers. I don't want to second guess myself about how much and how often. I want to call my Mum and cry and tell her my baby is sick and ask her what to do. Fuck fuck fuck.

Sorry... Tantrum over, I'm ok now.

C - Friday Fatties

Lets lighten the mood a little shall we?

So apparently running around like a chook with it's head cut off after a sick Tomika is not as conducive to losing weight as one would expect. Go figure.

Starting Weight: 82.5 kgs

Last Friday: 81.7 kgs

Loss of: 800 grams

This Friday: 82.2 kgs

Gain of: 500 grams

Total Loss: 300 grams

Note To Self - Lack of sleep and stress doesn't result in weight loss. Actually it causes eat-whatever-you-can-stuff-in-your-mouth-when-you-start-feeling-faint-and-finally-remember-you-haven't-eaten-for-8-and-a-half-hours. With cheese.

Shit hey. I hereby declare this weeks FF cancelled due to lack of interest. Like Christmas.

Oh well. Just call me The Grinch.

_____________
*The Crow (1994)

Call The CDC, This House Is A Quarantine Zone!

2010-05-20T23:16:00.001+10:00

I haven't had two minutes to stop and smell the roses this week. Tomika has been sick as a dog with a virus. So the Doctor says anyway. The poor little bugger has had a sore throat, cough, runny nose, aching limbs, and her asthma has been really, really bad. So bad in fact, that I have had her sleeping in my bed so that I can keep an eye on her during the night.

Neither of us has slept much, her because she can't breathe, and me because I'm too scared to sleep in case something happens and I don't catch it in time. Needless to say, we are both exhausted, her being worse, obviously.

She's finally asleep, for the moment anyway, and I thought I'd take a sec to myself to come on and update here before I'm back on duty. If she's still this bad tomorrow, I'm taking her into the hospital.

Bloody hell... Nobody ever told me that being a Mum would be this terrifying!

Naked Blogging Day

2010-05-15T16:57:00.005+10:00

For those of you who just got a little excited... No. I don't mean blogging without clothes, although if you want to do that, that's your business I guess. Although I wouldn't personally do it. Probably. Knowing my luck, someone would hack my web-cam and I'd end up being slapped with a lawsuit for indecent exposure. Because it would be. Indecent that is. In fact it would be kinda horrible. So I won't do it. You're welcome internet.

What I mean is blogging without make-up.

Apparently there is a meme going around (courtesy of BlogHer) at the moment that is encouraging women to take a photo of themselves sans make-up, and post it on their blogs.

Now... This is what I figure... I don't usually wear make-up, I honestly can't be bothered, and I am not at all shy to post a photo or two of myself looking, well... shall we say, bare-faced... as evidenced by these - few - posts.

So I figured I would go you one better, and post a picture of myself actually wearing make-up. Yeah, I know. Will wonders never cease? So here you go.

(Eeek! Please ignore the un-waxed eyebrows!)

As we can all see, not that much of a difference. Now you understand why I don't bother.

The funny thing is... I am actually a fully qualified make-up artist. Yeah I know, who'd a thunk it right? Well when I was 16 I took a make-up artistry course at TAFE, and I've been qualified since I graduated (obviously!) at around 18.

So if you need a wedding done. I can do it. If you are in a movie and need your make-up done for a scene. That's me. If you need a bruise or two, or a slit throat. I'm your girl... I mean... I can do your make up so that you LOOK like you have bruises and a slit throat... I'm not actually going to hit you... Probably... Unless you like that sort of thing... No, that's just silly... Not that there's anything wrong with it... I'm going to shut up now.

Friday Fatties - It's Better Than Nothing!

2010-05-14T19:32:00.003+10:00

Well it's weigh in time and I lost weight!

Excuse me for a sec while I happy dance... (Go me. Go me. Go go, go me!)

Okay I'm back.

I have lost, a grand total of... Drumroll please...

800 grams. (Or 1.8 pounds.)

Woo Hoo!

800 grams. Huh. All the killing myself exercising, all the starving myself stupid, and I lost 800-bloody-grams.

Eh... A loss, is a loss, is a loss. I guess. At least I didn't gain weight.

Now THAT would have been annoying.

Ouch!

2010-05-12T14:53:00.002+10:00

Okay so apparently I slept upside down and on my neck last night.

Every time I try to move my head even the slightest bit, a red haze enters my sight and I end up in a world of pain.

Grr... I hate my bed!

Mothers Day in the Befuddled Household

2010-05-09T22:43:00.001+10:00

Happy Mothers Day Everyone!!!

Welcome to teenage-hood my darling!

2010-05-08T23:30:00.000+10:00

Happy 13th Birthday Tomika

...

At least Mummy loves you!

Friday Fatties and Friday Follow

2010-05-07T23:05:00.004+10:00

Okay. So I don't usually mix up my posts into more than one subject. (Well, except for the first few posts I did.) I find it hard enough to keep track of what I am actually writing about, let alone several things at a time! But today I really, really wanted to do a couple of different things, and I really, really couldn't be bothered writing numerous posts... So I decided to give it a try. Here goes.

Friday Fatties

Christie from Mommy Drinks Because You Cry, and Pamela from 2 Much Testosterone have started up a thingy they are calling Friday Fatties, whereby all of us Fat Heffa's come together every Friday (duh) and become accountable for our weight by announcing it to the world at large. (Or in my case, the 5 people who actually put up with my inane ramblings.)

This is my first week of participating, and I hope that it will become a regular thing.

Okay, so here goes. Umm... Ready, and, go! AAANNNDDD GO! (Come on you sook!)

Okay... Take two. And... GO!!!

I currently weigh... As of 6pm tonight... A whopping... (Stop stalling woman!)

82.5 kg.

There. I said it. And no, thankyouverymuchChristieandPamela, I do not feel better!

Wow. 82.5kg. Or 181.9 pounds for all you Imperialists. Come to think of it, I think I'll stick with the Metric system thanks. It doesn't sound quite as bad.

I went to my doctor on Tuesday with this challenge in the back of my head, along with the very real fear that I am having trouble breathing when I lay on my back, and I have heart palpitations when I lay down, and sit up, and generally do anything more strenuous than breathing; and he gave me some pills that help you lose weight. Not diet pills as such, no, nothing as simple as an appetite suppressant, these are MUCH better. These little babies make it impossible for your body to digest fat, and (wait for it)... they give you diarrhoea if you try to eat anything that your body disagrees with!

Great! So now not only will I be deprived of food containing anything resembling flavour, but if I do try to eat something at all yummy, I'll be stuck on the loo for hours as punishment for my sins!

Hmm... Do I really need to lose THAT much weight? Really, really? Maybe I can just tie a long sleeved top around my waist...

Friday Follow

This one, luckily, only requires me to add these buttons, and go and link up at the host site, Midday Escapes.

So after all my angst, I didn't really do much did I? I WAS going to add Mama Ka't's Writer's Workshop as well, as I try to do it as often as possible, but this week with Mother's Day nigh, most of the prompts are about Mums, and I kinda don't want to go there again so close to the day itself...

Just for you, under the TMI label, I've been taking the pills the Doc gave me and my week has not been pretty. Come to think of it, I'm going to have a bit of a lie down now...

Wordless Wednesday - I have NO words for this...

2010-05-05T18:32:00.000+10:00

Wordless Wednesday brought to you by the lovely ladies at
5 Minutes For Mum. Thanks ladies!

Okay so y'all don't love me. Except for y'all who do. Now even I'M confused...

2010-05-03T23:39:00.004+10:00

So my 100-Followers-by-my-Birthday-Goal was a ripping success. I made it to 100 with plenty of time to spare, and now I'm... Hmmm, yes? Huh? I beg your pardon? I, uh, didn't make it you say? But I... Oh... I seem to have failed miserably. Right then.

Now IF I was the type of person to wallow in disappointment, (who me? Pfft.) I would be a blubbering mess right about now. Sobbing and snotting into my pillow, cuddling the cat to within an inch of it's life, wailing "Why OH Why don't they love me?" Luckily for you, and the cat, I'm not. (HA! I may have gotten slightly depressed, and there may have been some snot involved... I'm just sayin'.)

I have decided, instead, to cheat. Now I can hear you all now. Brea? No... She wouldn't cheat. Not Mz Befuddled herself. She has too much integrity! Now firstly let me say, Thanks for sticking up for me. And secondly, You are delusional. Don't you know me at all? Of course I'm going to cheat! I was ALWAYS going to cheat if I didn't make it. It just took me a bit to figure out how... Quiet now, hear me out! This way, I get my 100 Followers, and don't die in a crushing wave of defeat... And you get prezzies.

So we all win really.

I have managed to scrabble together 77 Followers on my blog page via Google Friend Connect. 77 Amazing and Wonderful people who don't mind if I call them names, and tell them I don't love them on a semi-regular basis. (When they know I totally do.) HOWEVER. I have also managed to attain 30 magnificent Followers via Facebook NetworkedBlogs, (buggered if I know how!?) and I am ABSOLUTELY counting them too.

SOOO... 77 + 30 = 107. FIGJAM baby!!!

I am still deciding on the prize to be given away, it will probably be either a CD of myself singing songs with the word 'Toilet' in the title, or an 64 page album containing photos of my cats. It's a big decision so I'm not going to rush it.

Stay tuned for the big reveal!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

2010-05-02T18:48:00.002+10:00

Brea's not here at the moment on account of IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

YAY ME!

I'm 36 today and not ashamed to say it. I love that I'm getting older, and that my misspent youth is behind me.

That's All.

See you tomorrow!

Writers Workshop - PIMP My Back!

2010-04-30T18:16:00.003+10:00

30th April 2010

4.) The world is going to come to an end unless you get a tattoo that covers your entire back. Describe the tattoo you’ll get.

Okay! NOW we're talking!

This is a prompt I can definitely sink my teeth into.

Be prepared for me to gush...

I LOVE tattoos. If I was a Super Hero, I would be Tattoo Woman. Seriously. I would LOVE to PIMP my back, and have it return all tricked out, and lookin' fine. .........Mmmm......... (What? Huh? Sorry! I was daydreaming a bit there...)

Now it doesn't matter to me who you are. Male OR Female. Young OR Older. People with tatts are beautiful to me because I see every piece as a story about their life. Each separate design makes up a picture of where they were on their own personal journey at that particular point in time. My Mum (who had several tattoos herself), and I were talking one day with some people who were treating 'we who were inked' differently and looking down on us as if we were lower-class citizens; and she said something that has stuck with me, "The only difference between tattooed people and un-tattooed people, is that tattooed people don't care if you don't have any." Smart woman.

Personally, I happen to think that there is nothing sexier than inked flesh. BUT. I have rules.

It must have meaning - No off the shelf pictures for me. Preferably self-designed, but if you are not artsy inclined, work with a tattooist. Tell them what you want. They are VERY talented people and can usually bring your idea to fruition without much trouble. That's why they call them 'Tattoo Artists...'
No partner names, unless they have passed away - There's nothing more terrible than having your at-the-time lover's name tattooed on you... Only to find they are not your soul-mate after all...
Children's names are okay - Photo's are good too. So are dates of birth, time and birth weight. But no ages, that's just tempting fate!
Parent's names are okay - Same as above. Also okay are DOD if they have passed on.
Pet's names are semi-okay - But weird...
Be 100% certain! - Don't ink on a whim. Carry your finished design around in the viewing window of your wallet for at least three months before you get it done. If you still want it after seeing it several times a day for a few months, you'll love it forever.

(Please, before you all lynch me, bear in mind, the above are MY rules, for myself. If you have your partners name tattooed on your buttocks, more power to you. I just wouldn't do it.)

I have several tatts that I have designed myself. The first is a black panther with wings on my upper right thigh near my hip, that my Mum took me to get on my 18th Birthday. It covers about one-third of my thigh, length-wise. The second and biggest is a tribute to my step-sister who passed away when I was young. It's a picture of her, stylised into a Celtic Goddess and it's on my left shoulder. It takes up little under a quarter of my back. My third tatt came to me in a dream just after Tomika was born. No shit. I just woke up in the middle of the night when she was six and a half weeks old, and started to draw. I didn't stop for about 12 days. Whenever Tomika was asleep, and whenever I had a moment I would hone my design. I ended up spending about 28 hours on it. It's a armband on my left arm, and it sits at just below a t-shirt sleeve. It's also got Celtic influences in the design.

I adore my tattoos. I also have another few to get that are designed and ready to go. They are Tomika, Mum, my 2 nephew's names, plus some other things, my favourite poem (Rudyard Kipling's IF), some literary quotes, along with Celtic and Orchid filler, and extra bits and bobs still to be added. And... (funnily enough regarding this prompt) they all intertwine with my existing tatt on my back to become one single full back piece.

So now you can see why I was so excited to see this weeks topics!

HOWEVER...

If I was to start again, with a blank canvas, so to speak, I would get Michael's tattoo from Prison Break.

*sigh*

Not only is it sexy as hell (and on that back, what tatt wouldn't be! You may have guessed from my rave earlier this Month!), it is just an amazing piece of artwork in its own right. And it has meaning! Amongst that beautiful imagery is a fully formed escape plan, from the map that is integrated into the design, to the size of the Allen Key needed to start it all off. Beautiful.

One can only dream...

First with your head and then with your heart. . .

2010-04-28T00:00:00.000+10:00

This post is for the Blog This Challenge #42 - A film that inspired me...

I've not done a Blog This challenge before. None of them have spoken to me until now.

I own, literally, thousands of movies. Seriously. It's quite ridiculous. I have them catalogued on my PC along with my books.

So it should be no surprise that there have been many movies that I have really loved throughout the years. Among them are; Philadelphia {1993}, Benny and Joon {1993} (which I now enjoy on a whole new level), The Green Mile {1999}, and Pay It Forward {2000} (which has now become an actual movement).

But the one movie that has stuck with me through thick and thin is...

The Power Of One {1992}

The movie is based on the novel of the same name by Bryce Courtenay, who is an incredible Australian Author. Of course, I have read the book as well. Which was fantastic. Obviously.

This movie has stayed with me for so long however, because unlike most movie adaptations of books, I believe, this one is as good as the book.

I actually saw the movie first, many years ago. THEN read the book. And I loved them both. I have since watched, and read, it many times.

The story is set during WW2. The main character PeeKay is a passionate young English boy living in Africa. Because of his race, he is shunned and bullied mercilessly within the Afrikaans boarding school he attends. He is orphaned while still young, and becomes placed in the care of a German Professor whom he calls Doc. Not long after the war begins Doc is put in prison for not registering with the English government as a foreigner. PeeKay is allowed to visit Doc and soon befriends another inmate who teaches him to box. The story is played out through PeeKay's boxing career, and the beacon of hope that he unwittingly becomes to the black African people. It is political (and yet manages not to be preachy), intelligent, sad, and inspiring, all at once.

From that basis the story develops, and it is an intriguing tale of racism, strength, honour, and above all, love. Love for country, love for another, and love for oneself.

I adored it.

THE CAT IS PLOTTING TO KILL ME!

2010-04-27T14:18:00.004+10:00

Seriously. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

Every time I try to walk somewhere, he flies across in front of me at warp speed like an absolute mental. I have tripped over the bloody thing so many times, I'm surprised neither of us has broken a limb.

And it's not like he's a small cat either. If he was just this tiny ball of fluff, I could just ~~kick~~ move him out of the way and keep going. But no... He's a bloody great beanbag with eyes. If I ever do fall over him properly, I'm going down like a sack of potato's. I'm going to end up killing either myself, him, or both of us.

I'm convinced that as soon as he does it, and I trip (and he WAITS for me to stumble... he. pauses. for. just. a. second.), he goes off to wherever it is that happy cats go, HappyCatLand or something, sniggers to himself, and plots the next fly-by. He thinks it's hilarious.

It's NOT funny. It's a sinister plot to get me down to his level so that he can disable me and TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

Grrr!!!

Bloody cat.

Writers Workshop - Mother's Day is Coming...

2010-04-23T14:49:00.003+10:00

23rd April 2010

I've missed the past few Workshops due to one thing or another and I have found it a bit hard to get back on track. I'm not even sure I can do it justice this week, but I'm determined to try! As usual I may get a little side-tracked, but I'll do my best.

5.) Mother’s Day is coming…what is the secret behind the close bond you have with your mom? OR What do you do to create that close bond with your kids?

Okay. So, any of the 5 people who read my blog know that my Mum died 6 years ago now from Cancer. And that I have a teenage daughter who I love fiercely, and who frustrates, and scares, the hell out of me.

I was lucky enough to have my Mum when I was growing up.

She was the 'cool' Mum that everyone wanted. She hung out with us, not in an over-protective way, or in a creepy Mutton-dressed-up-as-Lamb way. But in a listen to music, chill on the couch, I'd-rather-you-did-it-here-than-get-in-trouble-on-the-streets kinda way. My friends still dropped in to visit her long after I had gone my own way, and most of them attended her funeral.

Don't get me wrong, she was no pushover. She just knew what teenage kids were thinking, and she was able to cause it to flourish in a non-destructive way, rather than try to stifle it like most of my friends parents did. She allowed us to be ourselves so that we didn't feel the need to rebel and be someone else. And in that way she was the best Mum ever.

She was also mean, and cruel. She shouted and threw things, and she stayed locked in her room crying. She was selfish. She said the most horrible things.

It wasn't until I buried her and was diagnosed with Bi-Polar after having the same problems that I realised that she was sick.

She never told me or my brothers that she had BPD. I don't even think she knew herself. She just suffered in silence. That was typical of Mum. She was proud. Too proud to admit that she needed help until it was too late.

If there is one thing that I have learnt from my Mum it's to be open and honest with Tomika. I KNOW I need her help sometimes, and I'm not afraid to ask. I've been accused of putting too much on her young shoulders. Of not allowing her to live the life of blissful ignorance that a child should.

But I just think of my Mum, and I refuse to have her feel helpless. I refuse to have her sitting on the ground outside my closed door crying silently because she doesn't know what to do. I know that for us to to have a close relationship, I can't lie to her. She deserves to know why Mum's in bed sometimes. She deserves to know why Mum cries occasionally.

She deserves to know it's not her fault.

Wordless Wednesday - Bad Hair Day!

2010-04-21T14:50:00.001+10:00

He He!

Wordless Wednesday brought to you by the lovely ladies at
5 Minutes For Mum. Thanks ladies!

Post It Note Tuesday - Parent Teacher Interviews

2010-04-20T23:57:00.002+10:00

Rocky - ♪♪Eye Of The Tiger...♪♪

2010-04-19T20:52:00.004+10:00

My Cuz has the most wonderful addition to her family. She has a snake called Rocky.

♪♪

Risin’ up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I’m back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

It’s the, eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight
Risin’ up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he’s watchin’ us all with the eeeyyyeee
Of the tiger...

Da. Da da da. Da da da. Da da daw......
Da. Da da da. Da da da. Da da dawwwww...

♪♪

The song has absolutely nothing to do with the snake except that it's from the movie Rocky... And I like it. Betcha couldn't read it without singing along in your head either!

Rocky is a friendly guy as you can see by these photo's.

♪♪

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin’ tough, stayin’ hungry
They stack the odds still we take to the street
For the kill with the skill to survive

Risin’ up, straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I’m not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

It’s the, eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight
Risin’ up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eeeyyyeee
Of the tiger...

The eye of the tiger...

Da. Da da da. Da da da. Da da daw......
Da. Da da da. Da da da. Da da dawwwww...

♪♪

I'm fashionably late to the Party... Yeah, so what else is new?

2010-04-16T21:17:00.003+10:00

♪♪

Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)

There's a party goin' on right here

A celebration to last throughout the years

So bring your good times, and your laughter too

We gonna celebrate your party with you

Come on now

Cell-e-bra-tion

Let's all celebrate and have a good time

Cell-e-bra-tion

We gonna celebrate and have a good time

♪♪

Okay, so I caved.

There's been a Party happening right under my nose for the past week and I've stubbornly resisted attending.

It's not because I'm shy or anything, nothing as glamorous as that. Truthfully? It's because I can't be bothered shaving my legs.

Yeah, I know what you're going to say... I shouldn't be anti-social out of pure ~~laziness~~ vanity. It's time to shave them sucka's, put on my little black dress, slap on some make-up, and par-tay. But do you wanna know what I just heard? Blah, blah, blah, effort, blah, blah, pour yourself a bourbon.

Okay, if you insist. Bourbon and coke mixed, ice added. Mmmm... NOW we're talkin'!

So the whole reason for the shin-dig is to introduce myself to, and get to know, some other bloggers. This part I like. I'm actually hoping this will help me achieve my goal of reaching 100 Followers by my Birthday. So while you're here, visit my Stalkers Unite! page and join the chaos that is Brea's Befuddled Brain. You never know, you just might win something along the way!

Hi, I'm Brea. I'm a slightly-disturbed, highly-sarcastic, dry-witted, deliberately-single, fantasy-book-lovin', Twilight-obsessed, (bracket-OVER-using), Bi-Polar, crazy-cat-lady/stay-at-home Mum with a scary-beautiful 13-going-on-30-year-old teenage daughter, and a sick sense-of-humour.

I like walks in the rain, tattoos, and pussy-cats. I've had my belly-button pierced and my boobs reduced. I prefer honesty over the little lies you tell to save people's feelings. I can't stand nastiness or one-up-man-ship.

When I'm at a party, I'm usually the one sitting by myself on the couch who people avoid like the plague because I've had one too many bourbons and lost my rose-tinted-glasses.

Woo-Hoo! Are we having fun yet?

There are also prizes to be won. YAY!

Actually, after much contemplation, I think I'm going to like it here after all.

The prizes that interest me most are:

INTL 2 - A Custom Wordpress Blog by Uniquehorn Designs

INTL 5 - A Custom Blog Design from Whimsical Websites

INTL 9 - Two eBooks: Pretty. Cool. Cakes. A Bakers Dozen of Creative Birthday Cake Ideas and FishMama's Guide to Cooking with Children by FishMama and LifeasMOM

INTL 10 - A Custom Blog Design by Start Ranking Now

INTL 11 - A Custom Blogger Design by Simply Fabulous Blogger Templates

INTL 13 - A Custom Pick 6 Homekeeping Printables Pack by CleanMamaPrintables

INTL 14 - A Complete Custom Blog Makeover for Blogger.com PLUS a Custom Coordinating Twitter Background by Dawn Farias

INTL 15 - A Personalised Pre-made Blogger Template Package by Premades For A Purpose

Okay, are we seeing a pattern here?

As much as I LOVE my blog, and I've done massive amounts of work on it to get it where it is, I would just ADORE a Custom Makeover, designed just for me.

Anyway, head on over to 5 Minutes For Mom, to link up and join the party. But you better hurry, they're about to call last drinks!

Happy UBP2010 Everyone!!!

(Before you commit to becoming a follower, please take the time to read my Disclaimer...? and consider if this product is appropriate for you.)

Who needs a Hairdresser when you have a Cuz like mine?

2010-04-15T23:50:00.005+10:00

Hi!

Welcome to Cuzzin'z Hair Salon, where the dye is cheap, the coffee lukewarm, and the atmosphere is all fun and games, until the cat tries to kill you. (More about that at a later date.)

Tonight I went over to my Cuz'z place so that she could dye my hair for me. I get her to do it for me because she's fantastic at it, and she doesn't charge me $250 for the privilege of ripping it out by the roots and painting it a weird colour. I'm also positive she was a hairdresser in another life, and she's just plain old good fun.

Here are some shots we took of the process...

BEFORE

I know right? It's pretty bad. I don't usually let it get to that stage but I have had other things going on, and my hair kinda got lost in the system. Not to worry... It's all fixed now!

DURING

As you can see from the photo's below, my Cuz is a TOTAL Dag, and heaps of fun to hang out with!

We are extremely alike really... Well, except that she's skinny and engaged and I'm... Not. We think similarly, and we even used to dress the same, because we pretty much grew up together. Her Mum died when she was young, and she was brought up by our Nan, whom we nick-named Terminator Gran, (Long story that I'll leave for another day), and my Mum.

We've always been close. We were both born in May, Taurus's, a year and 8 days apart (I'm older). I was there when she had her first kiss (she bit his tongue!), we had our children (my daughter, her son) within three months of each other, and at one stage we even lived (I cooked, she cleaned), and partied, together. (And by partied I mean, snuggled-up-to-the-sweet-sweet-coolness-of-the-toilet-bowl-retching-whilst-slurring-I-looove-you-na-shreally-IIIsh-loooooves-shyou-yous-da-besht-cuzzin-eva... *snore*) (Seriously. I'm pretty sure we've even held each others hair back.) And we've driven each other bat-shit crazy too.

Unfortunately these days I don't get to see her and hang out as much as I'd like, life moves on y'know, and I miss that. I miss her. But when we do get together, it's always great fun. She's terrific company, gives good advice, and she ALWAYS tells it like it is, whether I want to hear it or not. She keeps me grounded.

Her husband-to-be is wonderful. They got engaged in September last year, and are planning to get married this year. He treats her like a Queen, he respects her, and he loves her completely and unconditionally. She's a lucky girl, she deserves it, and he is one very lucky guy. ~~And I'm sure he knows that BUT if by chance he ever hurts her I will hunt him down and remove certain~~ ~~necessary~~ ~~parts of his anatomy...~~ (*ahem* Excuse me. Just got something caught in my throat. *cough*) Seriously though, he is worth his weight in gold and he has made her SOO very happy, and for that reason I have nothing but the utmost admiration for him.

Wow... I just realised I kinda went off on a bit of a tangent there. SORRY! I guess it's the backlash of spending time with deliriously happy and perfectly suited people. It makes you want to wax lyrical about just about anything... (Or vomit. I guess it's good that I'm in a wax-on-wax-off kinda mood.)

Anyway, one day soon I'll write about some of the mischief Cuz and I used to get up to as kids... Now THAT will be fun!

Now where was I? Right, my hair...

THE FINISHED PRODUCT

All together it was a terrific night, good food (you're welcome!), lots of laughs, with some thought-provoking conversation thrown in as well. I'd definitely label it a 'bloody great success'.

♪♪

I feel pretty

Oh so pretty

I feel pretty

And witty

And wise...

♪♪

What do you think... How do I look?

By the way... Please help me achieve my goal of reaching 100 Followers by my Birthday by visiting my Stalkers Unite! page and joining the chaos that is Brea's Befuddled Brain. You never know, you just might win something along the way! Enjoy...

(Before you commit to becoming a follower, please take the time to read my Disclaimer...? and consider if this product is appropriate for you.)

The One That Is a Blatant Appeal for Attention...

2010-04-14T16:16:00.008+10:00

To My Dearest Darling Readers,

As I said in the title, I am shamelessly courting attention with this post. Those of you who know me even a little are now thinking, "Yeah? So what else is new?" But believe me, I have a good excuse this time.

Last night I stayed up until all hours of the AM on my PC, grabbing as many buttons as I could from the blogs that I read, so that I could update my Buttons Everywhere! page.

I did this for some very ~~self-absorbed~~ deliberate reasons...

a. I would love my regulars to experience some of the wonderful blogs that I visit all the time.

and

2. I am eager to lure back the readers to my blog that I lost whilst wallowing in self-pity for the past few weeks (I'm back, y'all... ♪♪And I'm feeeeelin' good♪♪), and I am hoping that by giving some blog love to my fellow writers, they will show me some lovin' in return. (See? Totally selfish. Told you I wouldn't disappoint.)

So grab your mouse and start a-clickin'! And don't forget to let them know I sent you! (Pretty please with a cherry on top?)

And if you could possibly see your way to grabbing my button (right hand side-bar, and below), and putting it on your blog, I will love you forever and ever!

Copy and Paste Code

I also have ~~a totally sneaky underlying~~ another reason for my completely egotistical self-promotion. I would just love, Love, LOVE to get to 100 followers by my Birthday on 2nd May. So basically, in 17+ days time - You probably noticed the countdown thingy up on top of my blog to track how many days we have left.

This would be an absolute dream for me to achieve such an honoured status among people that I consider to be my online peers.

I have added a Stalkers Unite! page where you can go see yourself and my other followers in living colour. There's a party over there, would you like to come? You can join us there or on my left-hand side-bar.

I would also like to whole heartedly thank my current 59 loyal Followers. They have stuck with me through thick and thin and I love them dearly for it. I just can't believe I've come this far in such a short period of time! Taking into consideration that I only wrote my first post on the 14th February, I feel absolutely blessed to have made so many great bloggy friends as fast as this.

In return, I promise to post as often as humanly possible, hopefully at least once a day. I pledge to try my very best not to let you down, and to make my writing as entertaining as I can. (By the way, I would also like to challenge myself more. So if you have a topic you'd like to suggest I write about, please let me know. WOW, this could be fun!)

So spread the word!

As a special prize, I will be doing a BONUS give-away if I make it! Now how many people do you know that GIVE presents on their birthday? (The prize will be confirmed closer to the date but I assure you, it'll be something totally fantastic! I have a wonderful imagination...)

So what do you reckon? Do you think we can do it?

Ready? Set? AAnnnnndd... GO!

(Before you commit to becoming a follower, please take the time to read my Disclaimer...? and consider if this product is appropriate for you.)

Love Always,

I used to be a fantastic cook. Then life got in the way...

2010-04-13T20:30:00.004+10:00

We had Indian Butter Chicken with Saffron Rice for dinner tonight.

I know, sounds good right? However, I was thinking whilst I stirred the jar of pre-made sauce into the pre-cut chicken pieces and added the pre-cooked-and-dyed-yellow-rice to the microwave, that I can't remember when I last spent the time on making a 'proper' meal.

You see once upon a time, in a land not too far away... I was a bloody good cook. I would do EVERYTHING from scratch.

My dinner back then would have looked like this...

Tonight, it looked like this. (Note the un-wiped edges of the bowl. I know right? MAJOR faux pas!)

I would shop for the ingredients with pleasure, taking the time at the Market to carefully sift through the fresh vegetables to pick the best of the best. The ones that smelt, looked and felt ripe, juicy and mouth watering.

I would take my time at the Butcher choosing the meat. The best cuts, lean with just the right shade of pink.

My spices were bought whole, to be ground by my own hand in my pride and joy. My granite Mortar and Pestle.

My herbs were always fresh, and usually picked from the herb garden in my back yard, that I lovingly tended daily. They smelt WONDERFUL. Every time I stepped out onto my back deck I could smell them, especially the mint. Mmmmm...

I would pour over my cookbooks, looking for the perfect recipe to suit my mood. What did I feel like that day? A typical Aussie meal? Mediterranean? Asian? Comfort food?

(My comfort food is my Mum's pumpkin soup. Yum.)

My favourite food to cook, and eat, is Indian. Preferably North Indian. The vast amount of flavours, colours and textures makes the entire experience an absolute pleasure. If you have never cooked or eaten North Indian, I beg of you, please do. Take the time to savour this gorgeous culture through it's culinary delights. I promise you will not regret it. There is a lot more to sample than just curries.

I would spend hours preparing the vegetables, meat and seafood. I was meticulous with chopping them the same size so that they would cook evenly and the timing was right. I would make all the accompaniments...

Raita yoghurt dip with red wine vinegar, cucumber and fresh mint.

Sweet Mango Chutney.

Naan. (Flat bread laced liberally with garlic, and cooked in the back yard on the side of my Tandoori Oven.

I LOVED throwing Dinner Parties. I was fantastic at it too. I would design and send out invitations, proper ones, y'know, on paper even. No emails for THIS little black duck!

It was ALWAYS a themed night, with a decorated table, and place cards and menus to match. I would burn a CD full of atmospheric music to play in the background.

GOD I miss it. I miss the sound, smell, and look of a beautifully assembled meal. A meal cooked with love.

Wow, what great memories this post has brought back!

SOO... Who's coming to my place for dinner?

Let's Play a Game... 'One Word' Tag!

2010-04-12T17:11:00.002+10:00

The gorgeous Eileen from Giving Her All She's Got has tagged me to play this little game which I think is a terrific way to help overcome the writers block that I am currently afflicted with.

Eileen is a self confessed nerd, and like me, she is CRAZY for a great Fantasy novel. And although I didn't win her book give-away (and I even tried to bribe her with postage) (Yeah, I know. Seriously! Doesn't a little schmoozing count for anything these days?!?!?), I still LOVE her to bits. Especially when she starts talking big words to me. My inner-critic claps with delight...

The game is easy in theory. Choose one word answers to a group of questions.

Now lets see if my big mouth will let me stop at just one... (Hmm... If I smoosh it into all one word it counts right? Right???)

Hair –

ShortDyedRed

(Bugger. I already stuffed it up. FAIL!)

Your Mother –

Strong

Your Father –

Genius

Favourite Food –

Japanese

Dream Last Night –

Nightmare

Favourite Drink –

OrangeAndMangoCordial

What room are you in? –

Bedroom

Hobby –

Reading

Fear –

DrivingOnBridgesOverWaterAndClowns

Where were you last night? –

Home

Something that you aren’t –

Stupid

Muffins –

Huh???

Wish List Item –

ManyBazillionDollars

Where you grew up –

Australia

What you are wearing –

BellyButtonRing

*wink*

Your Pet –

Boofie

Friends –

FewAndFarBetween

Something you’re not wearing –

Glitter

Favourite Store –

ANYBookstore

Favourite Colour –

Pink

Last time you laughed –

LastNight

Your Best Friend –

Tomika

Best Place you go over and over –

TattooParlour

Person who you email regularly –

Cousin

Favourite Place to Eat –

JacksSatayBar

Hey, that was fun!

Now I invite these Lovely Ladies to join in…

(All you have to do is post it on your blog!)

Amethyst Moon from Life Music And Laughter

The Farm Chicky over at Farmers Wife

Shari the Dusty Earth Mother

The serene Jo at The End Of The Rainbow - Life After Bankruptcy

Kristi from Live and Love... Out Loud

All five of these women are amongst many beautiful bloggy friends that include Christie from Mommy Drinks Because you Cry, and Eileen at Giving Her All She's Got (whom I can't tag because someone else got there first!), and Mama Kat from Mama's Losin' It!, that have been wonderful and supportive from the very first word I wrote here in the blogosphere. Mama Kat helped me out loads when she did a whole prompt in her weekly Writers Workshop around a problem I encountered when I was making my first baby steps.

I shamelessly blog stalk them all, and I am constantly up until the wee hours of the AM reading the latest things that have come tumbling from each of their talented and oh-so-remarkable brains.

There are others that I love to read too, and who have helped me through some tough times, so if I haven't mentioned you, please don't think I don't love you any more! I promise I do, there are just too many for me to list you all, but I am sending out big hugs, and many sloppy smooches to you, and you, and yes... Even YOU!

Happiness Award - A Belated Thank You!

2010-04-10T17:56:00.005+10:00

The absolutely gorgeous Christie from Mommy Drinks Because You Cry, was kind enough to give me the Happy 101 Award.

Well... She actually gave it to me back on 30th March 2010, and being the terrible person that I am, I haven't Thanked her until now.

So Christie...

THANK YOU HONEY!!!

I appreciate this award so much from her, as we are similar women in so many ways, and if we lived closer, I could see us becoming bestest buds.

She is a gorgeous person, a terrific Mother, and a wonderful wife, and I love her to bits! (And I kinda blog stalk her as it is, but don't tell anyone okay? Because it could be seen as kinda creepy...)

There are some rules involved in accepting the Award, but because I NEVER follow the rules and am a big-fat-cheater, I'm not going to do any of them.

(Actually, the real reason I'm not going to follow the rules is because I can't pick anyone in particular to give this Award to. I love all of my bloggy friends the same, and you have all been such a source of pleasure to me that I couldn't possibly single anyone out.... Well, THIS TIME anyway!)

So I am just going to leave you with this Happy thought...

♪♪

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy

Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry

Sunshine on the water looks so lovely

Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a day that I could give you

I'd give to you a day just like today

If I had a song that I could sing for you

I'd sing a song to make you feel this way

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy

Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry

Sunshine on the water looks so lovely

Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a tale that I could tell you

I'd tell a tale sure to make you smile

If I had a wish that I could wish for you

I'd make a wish for sunshine all the while

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy

Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry

Sunshine on the water looks so lovely

Sunshine almost always makes me high

Sunshine almost all the time makes me high

Sunshine almost always...

♪♪

(Music and Lyrics by the beautiful and talented Mr John Denver)

Writers Workshop - Bridge Over Troubled Waters.

2010-04-08T20:06:00.002+10:00

8th April 2010

Ok, so for the past week or so I have been a bit down in the dumps. The 6th anniversary of my Mum's death is the 8th of April (today), and I haven't been taking it well. I never do. Mum's birthday is on the 9th March, so the entire Month from then to her anniversary is a pretty bad one for me. I have tried to stay away from here, as much as possible, and away from writing full stop actually. Because everything I have written these past few days has been tainted with a dash of the 'I'm-depressed-feel-sorry-for-me's', and I didn't want that to translate through to this blog.

That said, from this day forth, I swear on the Bible there will be, as Mum would say, "No More Blubbering!" And I think Mama Kat's - Writers Workshop, is a perfect way for me to begin. So let's do it!

I WAS going to pick this prompt. 2.) What book captured your heart? Write about why the first book you loved is the first book you loved. However, I considered the fact that the post would probably be 5000 words long, and filled with my inner-critic's pretentious grandstanding. Along with many big words. Like A LOT. So I thought I'd save you all my preposterous anal-ness, and I went with this one...

5.) Where does that fear come from? Write about something that frightens you that other people might find ridiculous. Write about it in a poem, a story, or whatever.

Okay. Here goes...

I am deathly afraid of DRIVING over bridges that are above water.

There. I said it. Phew!

Normal bridges don't bother me. Give me a huge structure, 10 stories high, and I'll trundle across it without a problem. But stick a trickle of water underneath it, a minuscule flow; and I am reduced to an infant, curled into foetal position, sucking her thumb and crying for her Mummy.

(Oh, and I can WALK across a bridge, jetty/pier or whatever, with water underneath it without a problem. Hmm... Go figure.)

My original fear stems from when I was a child, early teen actually, and my Mum, two brothers and I were caught in a storm driving home from the local 'Trash and Treasure' market.

There was a short bridge that we had to cross on the way out that had a small river running underneath it.

It had never bothered me previously, but on this particular day, it was raining fiercely, and the river had swollen to the point of bursting it's banks. Unfortunately that also meant that it had risen above the level of the bridge, and water was washing rapidly across it.

The bridge, being so tiny, didn't have guard rails, so crossing it at the best of times was an unnerving experience.

This particular day, it was terrifying.

We had a small car, and started out slowly. I think that was our mistake.

The water rushed across underneath our tires, caught the car, and we sailed from one side of the bridge to the other. Luckily for us, the bridge DID have raised edges and that stopped us from being washed over the rim into the water. I was shit-scared that we were going to be swept away and drowned, stuck in the car, unable to climb free.

Mum revved the car, water lapping against tires trying desperately to find purchase on the slippery wood. I was holding my breath, willing the car off the bridge. FINALLY it took, and we were headed for the end in a hurry.

It felt like forever, but I'm sure the whole episode took only 30 seconds or so. We stopped on the other side, Mum and the boys were a bit shaky. But me... I was a mess. It shook me to the very core.

Ever since that day, I have been petrified of driving over bridges with bodies of water underneath them, no matter how big or small. I will drive for hours out of my way, to avoid crossing one. Ridiculous I know, but I just can't help myself.

Oh... And I'm also absolutely TERRIFIED of clowns. But that's a story for another day!

R.I.P. Mum

2010-04-08T00:01:00.003+10:00

Prison Break... I Broke!

2010-04-04T00:05:00.003+11:00

Okay, so when I started this blog, I swore to myself that I wouldn't be one of those people who does reviews all the time and forces my opinion onto others. But I have to write this, I just HAVE TO! If you don't want to read it, I'll understand, I promise! But I swear, I don't give away anything important...

I finished watching Prison Break today, only to find that there was a SET OF MASSIVE FINAL TWISTS in the plot that threw me for a loop.

I won't say what they were, because I know that a few of you have expressed an interest in watching the show when I mentioned it the other day. Suffice to say, get ready for a fast-paced bumpy ride, and a finale that will shock your socks off!

I actually cried my eyes out. For about 5 minutes after it ended. Probably too much information, BUT I just had to say that. Sorry!

The show itself was FANTASTIC! Totally original concept, with so many twists and turns in the plot that it left me literally gasping and scrambling for the next episode. I got so invested in the characters and storyline, that at one point I realised I had actually pulled my chair up close to the screen, and was sitting strained forward yelling - yes yelling - at the TV. I loved it. Loved It. LOVED IT!

I was rooting for the characters like they were friends. Even the bad guys! Okay... To be a bit clearer, there were bad guys that turned good, and good guys that turned bad, and SOO many other things that went on that it left me wondering after every episode, what was going to happen. I am SOO GLAD I didn't watch it on TV, and that I waited for the whole series to come out on DVD first, because I think I would have popped a vein in my forehead if I'd had to wait a whole week for the next episode to air. I had enough trouble swapping out the DVD's without fumbling and dropping them in my haste!

And when it finished, I was left bereft, feeling like I wasn't sure what to do with myself.

I feel that way regularly when I read a series of books that I LOVE, but I have never felt like that with a TV show. NEVER EVER.

Prison Break will definitely be a show that I'm sure I'll watch again and again.

Oh and Fox? "YOU'RE WELCOME". And I'll take that Royalties payment now thanks. 50% of future DVD sales will be fine. You can wire it to my untraceable, numbered Swiss bank account. (Y'know, just in-case...)

The Ups and Downs of Bi-Polar Disorder

2010-04-01T18:04:00.002+11:00

Okay.

So the worst part of being on a 'high' is that you have to come down, always have to come down. And that usually happens with an almighty crash that is sent resounding through the rest of your life, and the lives of those around you.

These past few days, for me, have been hell on earth, and I can only imagine what it has been like for those that are in my life. I'm so sorry for them.

I have fought with everyone. I have sat on my ass and done NOTHING. I have slept around the clock. I have left days worth of dishes, piled up in the kitchen, and a week worth of laundry overflowing in the basket.

I haven't showered, or brushed my teeth. Shit, I've barely eaten anything but barley sugar, one after another.

I am so fucking OVER this.

My meds are working, I know they are. But sometimes I wonder, to what extent? Could it get any worse? I mean, I know it can, I've been there. But sometimes it's just FEELS like it can't.

I have kept my mask in place as long as I could, but it slipped. And I am left bare, red raw and hurting.

Wordless Wednesday - Clutter...

2010-03-31T15:47:00.000+11:00

Hmmm... I think I should clean my desk, apparently I'm collecting cats...

Wordless Wednesday brought to you by the lovely ladies at
5 Minutes For Mum. Thanks ladies!

Post it note Tuesday - Motivate!

2010-03-30T20:43:00.001+11:00

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Zip-a-dee-ay... My, Oh, My, What a Wonderful Day!

2010-03-27T14:24:00.006+11:00

Plenty of sunshine headin' my way... Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Zip-a-dee-ay!

I slept!

I was on my PC until about 2.30 am when I realised I was just kinda staring at the screen. So I thought I'd go to bed and watch some Prison Break.

(My newest scrumptious show. That Wentworth Miller... Now THERE'S a man I could go all Cougar Town on... Rowl!)

I am also a Tattoo aficionado. I've got a few I designed myself... I'll post them sometime. So that just gives this picture a double thumbs-up, with a big helping of MWAH from me!

It was about 6.30 am, and I was ~~drooling~~ watching away, when I felt this weird sensation in the back of my eyelids. You know that gritty feeling where you aren't sure if you are going to cry, sneeze, or your eyeball is going to pop out onto the floor? Yeah, that one.

It was extremely uncomfortable, and I found that the only way I could stifle it was to close my eyes for short periods of time. To help lubricate them, or something to that effect. (I guess being open pretty much non-stop for days will do that.)

So I closed my eyes...

The next thing I knew, it was light outside. I looked up at my bedroom clock (the one that has been mocking me for the past week. Hey clock. Yeah you. I wouldn't leave town okay? I know who you are, and I know where you live!), and it said....

10.37 am.

(Well... It didn't ACTUALLY say that, I mean, that would be crazy sleep-deprived talk. Right...? Pfft... Talking clock.)

OH. MY. GOD. You don't realise how GOOD sleeping is, until you CAN'T do it. Four-and-a-half hours of pure bliss.

I no longer feel like walk-on-razorblades-around-me-no-loud-noises-turn-that-bloody-light-off-it-burns!,Vampire-Mummy.

I no longer look like crazy-white-faced-eye-popping-out-carrying-a-suitcase-underneath-my-eyes, Zombie-Mummy.

Now I look like this!

Note BIG smile. And pink. Lots of pink. I like pink when I'm happy and well-adjusted. (Just in case you hadn't noticed.)

I'm BACK... It's party time people!!!

Dear G...

2010-03-26T21:13:00.001+11:00

This is just a quick post dedicated to a dear friend that I have made on here.

This is a person who has helped my through some rough patches. And always been there for me when I needed a boost.

They are going through some troubles, and I hope that they will soon come out the other side, smiling, stronger for it.

Goodbye G.

I will miss you dearly.

And I will be there for you, when - and if, you come back.

Always,

Brea x x x

Writers Workshop - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

2010-03-25T18:59:00.001+11:00

25th March 2010

It's that time of the week again, and I am happy to be participating in Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. This week I'm choosing prompt number two, because it couldn't have come at a better time for me. I find myself saying this over and over more often than not lately...

2.) “I need all the help I can get and if repeating something healthy and inspiring to myself several times a day helps, then I’m going to do it!” -What affirmation makes you feel better? WELL THINK OF ONE.
(inspired by Shanna from Smiles, Miles, and Trials)

She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When I wake her up in the morning for school and she grunts at me in some unknown Neanderthal language, pulls her doona over her head and rolls over - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she stumbles out of said bed, half-an-hour later bleary eyed and dishevelled, and shrieks at me "Why didn't you get me up sooner? I'm going to be late for school!" - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she climbs in the car after school and answers my polite, "How was your day?" with another grunt - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she spends HOURS locked in her room on the phone with her friends, only coming out to forage for food or ask for money - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she waits until the morning of, to give me a school permission form to sign and produce 1 squillion dollars for said event - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she forgets to hand in her Immunisation consent forms to the school on time and misses out on the FREE needles, therefore costing me ANOTHER squillion dollars to have the shots done by the doctor - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she takes 2 HOURS to wash 2 plates, 4 pieces of cutlery, and 3 pots - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she sits zombiefied in front of the TV to the point where I have to put a mirror under her nose to see if she is still breathing - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she tries to smuggle MY make-up and high heels on her Year 7 camp - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she screams at me, "You don't understand, you're old!" And, "IT'S MY LIFE!" - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she gives me the silent treatment for not letting her post photo's of herself in HER BIKINI on Facebook - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she spends 3 HOURS in the bathroom, then comes out looking exactly the same, and GLARES at me for asking what she's been doing all that time - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she won't eat because she thinks she is fat - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she cries for no reason - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

When she turned her face away as I went to kiss her goodbye for camp...

She is a teenager. It is normal.

TAG - YOU'RE IT!!!

2010-03-25T00:00:00.004+11:00

Ok so it seems there are SO MANY fun things to to in this little world that I affectionately call the BREAOVERSE, (or for the uninspired, the blogoverse - pfftt!), that I am a little overwhelmed.

How does one keep up with it all? AND be good parents and spouses, and little worker-bees, and PEOPLE at the same time? (That is assuming, you HAVE lives. Unlike me. Who doesn't. Because I'm just kinda boring and... well... blah. Seriously. And I'm not a very good mum either. Well in the kinda way that, King Kong wasn't a very good Monkey. Y'know what I mean... As in I'm too big, over-protective, climb tall buildings with small women in hand, and I make Tomika dance for my amusement and then throw stones at her if she doesn't succeed. Umm... Okay. Now where was I? Right.)

SO. Aside from: Supah Mommy's - Post It Note Tuesday, 5 Minutes for Mum's - Wordless Wednesday, Mama Kat's - Thursday Writers Workshop. And the constant SELFLESS AND GENEROUS Award giving. There is also games which involve kinda chain-like tagging of other bloggers with a challenge.

I happen to have been challenged to play, for the first time mind you, by the wonderful Gregory J from Day to Day, and Living My Life, Whatever (who, if you don't already know, I have a MASSIVE teacher-student kinda crush on. But don't tell his wife ok? It's a secret just between me, him, you guys, and the rest of the World Wide Web).

Today's challenge is this:

Go to your first photo file and pick the 10th photo in it.
Tell the story behind the photo.
Tag 5 other people to do likewise.

Okay.

So I went to the first photo folder I have of photo's I personally took, which only dates back to 8th March 2008, (because before then, the photo's I have on my PC are from other people... I was too cheap to get a digital camera!), and I came up with this...

Which is TOTALLY stupid right?

So I looked through the folder further, I figured I could cheat, I mean, who would know?

And the best I could find is this...

APPARENTLY, I had NOTHING WHATSOEVER better to do that day than take bloody photo's of my damn CAT under my messy bed! (Note the cow slippers in the background. They even moo. Seriously. Shit-hot huh?)

So I thought to myself, "Self. That can't be right. Surely you MUST have an earlier folder, with some photo's of umm, your DAUGHTER perhaps?"

So I looked further.

SUCCESS! I had wrongly dated a few folders, so I proceeded to correctly name them, and happily started to peruse the contents.

The result?

GOD-DAMN-IT!!! What the hell? (Hey I WARNED YOU I was boring!)

So I have decided, upon much soul-searching, to settle with, not the 10th photo in the first photo folder, but the first photo in the 10th folder. You may NOT agree with my choice, but... Bugger it!

I think this is hilarious!

And the story behind it?

We had just gotten Milkshake on Boxing Day, (long story involving a MEAN-AND-NASTY man who told 10 year-old Tomika that he was going to THROW HIM OUT THE CAR WINDOW, if she didn't take him. Yeah, you heard. Ass-hole much?), this was taken about 2 weeks later. He wasn't settling in well because we already had Boofie, who is VERY territorial. She bullied him mercilessly (she would sneak up behind him, swipe him at EVERY opportunity, and jump out at him from behind things), and I thought it was absolute side-splitting entertainment. (If you don't know already, I am VERY easily distracted.)

This photo is actually a total fluke I took where I lay in wait for Boofie to do her thing. I just couldn't help it! It was so funny. I didn't actually think I was going to be able to capture her in the act, but I just happened to click the shutter at precisely the right moment and WA LA! Instant masterpiece.

HOWEVER, as you can see, I still had nothing better in my diary than to follow my cats around with my newly acquired camera. Pathetic huh?

OKAY! So now to tag some others to play.

I nominate:

Marfmom from Musings Of A Marfan Mom, she is a special lady with a lot on her plate. I'm hoping this will lighten her day up!
Linds from A Dollop Of My Life, who is a photographer, and also has a GREAT web-page design site called Designs by Linds. I'm looking forward to seeing what she comes up with.
Jane Ug-LBC from Adoption of Jane. She claims 'This Blog is not for the Politically Correct. I am an equal opportunity smack talker, I tend to offend Everybody.' I LOVE IT!
Anna From Little Reminders Of Love is a MASSIVE cutie. Her blog is so much fun to look at!
Jayde from Jayde's Little Corner, is a busy Mum, with a MENAGERIE that makes me feel a little better having my own zoo going on. Let's see if she will slow down long enough to actually DO THIS!

Okay. So I'm done passing it on, and I'm actually tired now. Tomika is at camp for the next few days, so I don't have to be up at 6am to get her ready for school. I might just be able to get some sleep!

Here's hopin' for a miracle. Wish me luck!

Wordless Wednesday - I Tawt I Taw A Putty Tat...

2010-03-24T17:30:00.003+11:00

I did, I did taw a putty tat!

Wordless Wednesday brought to you by the lovely ladies at
5 Minutes For Mum. Thanks ladies!

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post... Part 2.

2010-03-23T18:04:00.002+11:00

To my regular readers. I'm TRULY sorry for what you are about to read...

These little gems were on my Anonymous has left a new comment on your post..., umm... post.

I think you're missing the point.
That's not what I meant by it. (Referring to their previous comment.)

I meant: you seem to write it in such a way - and often! - that all you want is sympathy ('poor me') from posting posts such as the one you did yesterday.
Do you not get enough sympathy from home (so that you need to get it from your blog)?
Oh wait, didn't you mention that your cousin tells you to "suck it up princess"?
Sounds like good advice.

Posted by Anonymous to Brea's Befuddled Brain at March 23, 2010 11:49 AM

AND

It's interesting that you didn't approve my last comment - something hit home, eh?
And I know there are a lot of comments you don't approve...
You need to take the good with the bad - perhaps address the issues?

Posted by Anonymous to Brea's Befuddled Brain at March 23, 2010 2:41 PM

Dear 'Anon',

Whilst I sit here greatly enjoying your diligent throwing of stones from your glass palace, I feel that we have come to the intimate point in our relationship where I am comfortable telling you a few secrets...

First: I approve EVERY comment. I am not afraid of them. They are just words on a page. Sticks and stones, and all that. I moderate my comments simply because I choose to READ them before they are published. NOT censure them. If you have sicc'ed your cronies on me I feel obliged to let you know, they are very naughty and not doing their job. (The only UN-APPROVED comment I have is from a lovely lady that comments regularly, and the software seems to have stuck... BUT I digress!) If I have not approved your comment in a timely manner, my apologies. Unlike you, I am not living my life hanging on your every word. You are quite welcome to give me a call to talk about... Oh wait.

Second: I know where you live. Seriously.

MMWWAAHHHAHAHAA!!!

Being as self-absorbed as I totally am, I stalk myself.

Ever heard of StatCounter.com? Here, just in case it's not self-explanatory enough and you can't find it, I gave you the link.

It's a very clever little gadget, I recommend you look it up.

However, please feel free to continue. I am considering starting a new page here and calling it, 'Dumb Things Spineless Anonymous Commenter's Say'. Or how about simply, 'Stupid People'?

You, of course, shall have the starring role. (If I can spare the time from writing about me that is.)

That might assuage your feeling that this blog is NARCISSISTIC.

Which it ABSOLUTELY is.

Love Always,

Brea x x x

That is all.

An Award, for me? Again? WELL OF COURSE!!!

2010-03-23T16:03:00.002+11:00

I've done it again, I came first in a beauty contest and won $10. Oh, wait. That's another game...

My totally self-indulgent butt has been given another Award.

Oh how GREAT AND WONDERFUL I am. How you LOVE ME.

Of course how could I not win? I am TOTALLY the obvious choice. Being as I am the BEST and all!!!

Okay, now I'm going to be serious... (Oh who am I kidding?)

The clever and oh-so-wise Gregory J from Day to Day, and Living My Life, Whatever, has AGAIN nominated me as one of his selections for the Happy 101 Award.

This makes me HAPPY 101 times. Plus 4. (Because I do things in groups of 5.)

There are again rules that I will follow with MUCH happiness.

Here they are:

Thank the person that awarded you in a new post.
Put the award on your sidebar.
Name 10 things that make you happy.
Pass this award to other bloggers who make you happy.

1. Thank you GregoryJ! I LOVE you, I do. (Hope your wife

doesn't mind my infatuation!)

2. Sidebar = Done.

3. 10 things that make me happy... Aanndd... GO!

MY daughter Tomika.
MY family.
MY friends.
MY cats.
MY blog and all MY bloggy friends that I have made.
MY books.
MY bed.
MY cooking.
MY favourite TV shows.
ME. (Of course!)

4. Play 'Hot Potato' and pass it on!

In my position as SUPREME BEING AND RULER OF THE BLOGOSPHERE, I hereby award this commendation to the following people:

GregoryJ from Day to Day, and Living My Life, Whatever, is SOOO supportive. He makes me happy in an I've-got-a-secret-crush-on-my-elder kinda way. (AND Yes, I am aware he already received it, but I'm breaking the rules. Because I can. Because I'm ME and I'm MAGNIFICENT.)
Giving Her All She's Got always has a NICE comment or two to say. She loves her doggies, like I love my cats. Her posts make me happy in a smiley-fluffy kinda way.
Kat from 2010 - Year Of Miracles is refreshingly blunt. She makes me happy in an in-your-face kinda way.
Kellyansapansa is a woman on a mission. To get Married! Her blog makes me happy in a totally-overjoyed-for-her kinda way.
Jessica over at La Fin Dumond Farm is absolutely hilarious! Her ramblings make me happy in a laugh-uproariously-til-a-little-pee-comes-out kinda way.

So that's it. My Top 5 adored blogs.

If you're not included, I don't love you any more.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post...

2010-03-22T22:47:00.004+11:00

I just got this Anonymous (naturally), comment on my 'Lately I don't sleep.' post.

"Wow, your blog is really self-indulgent."

Ya think?! That's kinda the point!

Hilarious!!!

Lately I don't sleep.

2010-03-21T22:56:00.001+11:00

Lately I don't sleep.

When my BPD goes on a 'high', my brain is ON 24/7 and I can't stop it.

So... I don't sleep.

I've tried everything. Sleeping pills, Valium, Xanax... Herbal remedies. Nothing works. My BPD meds are SUPPOSED to take care of it for me, but they don't.

So... I don't sleep.

Do you know what it feels like to go for days without sleep? To have your brain going on and on, and over and over things you can't change. Every minute of every day... And every night.

During the day, it's kinda okay. Cope-able. But at night there's not much to do except THINK.

I can't watch TV, because it doesn't capture my attention enough to stop the thoughts going round and round in my head. Reading is useless. I find myself re-reading the same sentence over and over without registering what I've seen. I couldn't even tell you the subject of the book I'm reading. I've always got about 5 books on the go, trying in vain to find ONE that will distract me, even for a minute, from the nothingness.

So... I don't sleep.

After a few days of sleeplessness, you go numb. Nothing makes an impact.

Only Tomika breaks through. She reaches down through the quicksand of my mind and drags me back.

So for her, I make an effort. I make her food. I drive to and from school. I help with her daily problems.

I smile.

Lately I don't sleep.

I am prejudiced, and so ashamed...

2010-03-20T01:55:00.003+11:00

Yeah okay so I did it. I succumbed.

I bought the Sookie Stackhouse, (or as you may know them, TrueBlood) books.

It started quite innocently. I was wandering through Target, browsing the book section (as I am often known to do), TOTALLY immersed in the plethora of literature surrounding me, when I smacked straight into this older lady, nearly tackling her to the ground.

We thrashed around for a bit, gaining our feet back, me apologising profusely, when I realised I had knocked her MANY books straight out of her arms.

I stumbled around uselessly, trying to pick the books up for her so she need not do it, when one of them caught my eye.

It was this one.

The lady kind of looked at me sheepishly and said that it was her new, 'Guilty Pleasure'.

"I'm a strict 'Twilight Saga' girl myself", I told her (ever the loyal fan). "It would feel like cheating on a lover."

Then she (quite brusquely, I must say), asked me the most interesting question.

"Did you read 'Anne Rice'? Watch 'The Lost Boys'? Enjoy 'Charmed' maybe?"

It was like she was in my head!

"YES!", I said. (Kinda loudly I suppose, another shopper startled a bit...)

"Then where's your dilemma?", she asked. "Just because you love one book - or a series of books for that matter - in a certain genre shouldn't prejudice you from appreciating something new. If anything you should embrace the differences, and acknowledge them for what they are. Damn good writing!"

With that she took her books, and walked away.

I bought the whole set.

Drumroll - And The Winner Is... ME!

2010-03-19T14:32:00.003+11:00

The TOTALLY wonderful and handsome Gregory J from such blogs as Day to Day, and Living My Life, Whatever, has selected little ol' me as the recipient of the Beautiful Blogger Award.

Yup. Me. Who'd a thunk it?

♪♪♪Go me, go me, go go, go me!♪♪♪ *insert silly dance here*

You like me. You really like me! No, really... You like me?

My FIRST award.

(Quiet down there people, you, in the back, shhhhhhh!)

NOW:

"I'd like to thank the Academy... My Parents... I love you MUM! Tomika... my brothers... my cats... the creepy guy down the street who looks at me through an inch of curtain every time I walk past... my chemist... and who could forget the team in hair and make-up *snif* I'd be NOTHING without you... I love you guys!!!"

"And I'd like to send a special THANK YOU out there to Gregory J, without whom I would not have this here ~~golden statuette~~ 200x200px virtual award. Thanks darl!"

*cue music...*

Okay, so apparently there are some rules and whatnot that I must now follow... Semantics I say! But follow I shall. A good girl I am. (Did I seriously just sound like Yoda?)

Here they are:

Thank the person who gave you this award.
Share 7 things about yourself.
Pass the award along to 15 8 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!
Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.

SO:

1. Done and I mean DONE!

2. Seven things huh? Hmm...

I am practically a recluse. If I am not with Tomika doing something I spend most of my days inside. Mostly on this damn PC!
When I had my Breast Reduction in early June 2009, I had a terrible car accident 10 days afterwards and my stitches burst open leaving me with horrific scars.
My biggest weakness is ebay.
I read. A lot. Like, A LOT a lot.
My favourite guilty TV show is Charmed. I was DEVASTATED when it finished up. (I still watch the DVD's over and over... Shhh.)
I am a fantastic cook.
I can sing.
I used to be a bloody good dancer.
I HAVE to do things in groups of 5. (Hence my cheating and BOTH these lists being 10 things long.)
I am a *little bit* of an X-Box junkie.

3. Do unto others... With pleasure!

Amethyst Moon over at Life, Music and Laughter deserves this. She always has a song in her heart.
Mommy Drinks Because You Cry, CONSTANTLY makes me laugh, unless she makes me cry, or feel bad, in a good way. It's ok because I get it. We are two Motherless Daughters, working it out as we go along.
Tammy at A Red Neck Diva's Kitchen always has something yummy on the menu.
The Farm Chicky in the Boondocks of Farmers Wife is sharp as a tack. Don't let those overalls and the straw in her hair fool you!
JadeLD from Now That I'm No Longer 25 has some AMAZING photos to share. She is one talented woman.
True Confessions of a Single Mother features the lovely Raine. She is blunt, to the point, honest, and I love her.
Kristi from Live and Love... Out Loud is just... Beautiful. Nuff said.
If you are looking for blurting out laughing at the PC screen so that the people around you think you're crazy, you HAVE to visit parentingBYdummies. I have SOO much to learn...
Shari is a 'perimenopausal parent of preschoolers and an epileptic pug', you can find her at Earth Mother. Watch out though, she's not afraid to get dusty.
And last but certainly NOT least, I am going to give this award to the beautiful and inspiring Carly from Tune Into Radio Carly. She is just......??? I have NO words to describe her courage and strength.

4. Contact the bloggers I picked... You mean I ACTUALLY have to talk to these suckers? WelI I guess sacrifices MUST be made in the name of art.

Hey you, yeah you on the list above. Consider yourself STALKED!

Writers Workshop - The Best Day Ever!

2010-03-19T00:24:00.000+11:00

18th march 2010

Once again it is time for me to stretch my wings and delve into Mama Kat's ever-so-insightful prompts to show off my writing prowess. I have chosen prompt number one this week. Just because it was the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE, and I would re-live it over-and-over if I could.

1.) If you had to relive a day in your life what day would it be?

I was late, really late. And I was shitting myself. Deep down I just KNEW how it was going to turn out.

I raced in the door, apologising profusely, the receptionist smiled condescendingly and gave me a form to fill in. When I finished, she said, "It'll be a while, take a seat."

I sat down and looked around, tense as hell.

There were others waiting there too, and they were in the same differing states of apprehension.

Finally I was called in to the office and I faced a panel of experts. A PANEL. They reinforced the fact that I was late, and I nervously said I knew.

They talked to me for a while, asking me a mixture of surface and personal questions. How did I handle responsibility...? What would I do if...? And so on...

They explained their professional position, and their personal opinions, and asked me what my thoughts were.

I said I was pleasantly surprised, appreciative of their feedback, and that I would get back to them.

I floated out the door.

After being told by countless 'experts', it would NEVER happen...

I was PREGNANT!

My Toe Is A Pirate...

2010-03-18T12:26:00.001+11:00

The big toe on my right foot is a traitor.

It is, at this very moment, engaged in an act of Mutiny against the other toes. The whole foot actually. And being that it is SUPPOSED to be the Capitan of the set, the one that lays down the law for all the other toes, I am fairly certain this is NOT a good thing...

It is either trying to convert the others to it's way of thinking... In which case I'm in six different shades of shit. And my toes are going on a holiday without me. (Which I'm pretty sure I don't want.) Because I need my toes, don't I? (I mean I don't need them like I 'need' a bourbon... That's just silly, there's need, and there's 'need'... Savvy? Priorities people!)

Now I'm no Anatomy major or anything, but aren't the toes kinda important? Y'know, to keep you upright and all? (Not like after that bourbon ~~or seven~~, but for-real upright. Like when you're sober and shit.) (Do you think, if you had no toes on one foot, you'd just walk round in circles...?)

OR it's pulling this weird reverse-psychology-do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do crap... In which case I'm going to have to get a Toe Therapist. (And I hear they are expensive!) Because I'm the boss of this foot toe-baby, and it's about time you knew it!

It is currently infected from an in-grown toenail, and looks, well, just YUK . (Just turn away from the other four toes, that's just nature unfortunately. I have NOT been blessed with attractive feet. Not by a long shot.) (In fact, you might wanna skip those photos altogether... I'm just sayin'.)

ALSO... It would be remiss of me not to mention the PAIN that is currently associated with having no choice but to USE something that you need every moment of every day, due to the fact that it balances you and shit...

Oh! And there's also the oozing pus.

Lovely.

SO... Owing to the fact that I have a Mutiny on my hands (feet?), I have decided that I have absolutely NO choice in the matter.

It will have to walk the plank.

I'm afraid there's nothing else to it...

Maybe I can get Johnny Depp as 'Captain' Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean in as a replacement...

AND if I'm lucky I can train my Sparrow-Toe to say things like, "Savvy?", "Do us a favour... I know it's difficult for you... but please, stay here, and try not to do anything... stupid.", "Funny ol' world, innit?", "Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?", "And really bad eggs.", and "Why is the rum gone? But, why is the rum gone?!" at regular intervals.

Hmm... ~~Johnny~~ Food-for-thought.

***I'm a MASSIVE Pirates stalker... Is it too obvious???***

Wordless Wednesday - It's a hard-luck life...

2010-03-18T00:11:00.002+11:00

It's SOO hard being a kid...

Wordless Wednesday brought to you by the lovely ladies at
5 Minutes For Mum. Thanks ladies!

HELP!

2010-03-16T21:38:00.001+11:00

Ladies and Gentlemen of the blogosphere.

Brea's Befuddled Brain for once isn't just a cute name. My brain is VERY fuddled, and it/I needs your help.

I have been asking around the 'touchable' people I know, and I am getting the same old tired answers that I get every year.

So I put this to you, dear, dear readers...

Tomika turns the big 13 in a little over a Month and I have NO IDEA WHAT TO DO FOR HER BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!

I originally had the (what I thought was) BRILLIANT idea of hiring out a Hotel suite for her and 5 of her GIRLfriends (with me safely ensconced in one of the rooms of course!), BUT the few Hotels I have contacted within my price range have said HELL NO they won't have 6 giggling teenagers in a room for the night, even with me in the room.

(Interestingly enough, just to appease my curiosity, I called one of them back, and told them I wanted the suite for 7 Women for a Hens night... And did they have 24 hour room service to deliver alcohol to the room AND would they mind if I got a stripper ~ They didn't mind. Hmm... I know which I would rather!)

I don't want to take them to the movies (boring), out for dinner (done, and double boring), or anything that smacks too much of childhood (embarrassing!).

Oh... And... THERE AINT NO WAY ON GODS GREEN EARTH THAT I AM HAVING THEM AT MY PLACE!!! (I'm just sayin'.)

So, any ideas on what I should do?

What would YOUR perfect 13th Birthday Party be...?

(I wonder if she'll still let me take photos like this of her once she turns 13? (He he!))

Or will they all have to be like this...

My PRE-teen, is going to be a ACTUAL-TEEN.

SHIT SCARED ANYONE?

Sick, Sick, Sick!!!

2010-03-14T21:51:00.002+11:00

I've been sick for the past week or so, sore throat, cough. Today I got worse. I've been in bed all day.

I have dragged my butt out of bed to check emails, and write this in the shameless solicitation of sympathy from my bloggy friends.

(I am aware that I am pathetic, you have me permission to tell me to "suck it up princess". (As my cousin would say...))

I'm going back to bed now.

Night!

Bletch...

The Storm of 6th March 2010

2010-03-13T14:30:00.001+11:00

Does everyone remember the Storm I wrote about last weekend? The one the scared the BEJESUS out of Tomika and I?

Well I came across some more photo's, taken across town and in the city that might explain a little better how horrific and shit-scary it really was, And how so very lucky we were, considering 90% of one side of my house is all windows.

ALSO... I know I didn't mention this, because I didn't find out until the next day, but my car, which is usually on the front lawn, was in the driveway at the time. Which was BLOODY LUCKY, because a HUGE tree branch fell right where it's usually parked! Pure dumb-luck? I think so!

I chose to do it as a Whrrl presentation, (thanks to Mama Kat at Mama's Losin' It! for suggesting it.)

(Regarding Whrrl... To be honest, I am what I would consider VERY computer savvy, but I found Whrrl, quite confusing to work out how to actually start a presentation. Is it me? Maybe it's me...?)

Anyway, here it is. ENJOY!

Writers Workshop - Beyond the grave...

2010-03-12T17:23:00.001+11:00

12th March 2010

It's Writers Workshop time with Mama Kat. This is my submission for this week, I know I'm a day or two late, I haven't been well...

1.) Write a letter to yourself from someone who has passed on. (ie: parent, grandparent, famous person, friend, pet, etc)

I seem to be surrounded by memories of my Mum these past few days. First last weeks Writers Workshop piece about being blindsided, then her ring having to be cut off my swollen finger, her Birthday on the 9th, and now her 6th Anniversary is coming up on the 8th April.

I decided to take on this weeks letter post to try to round out what I've been feeling, and maybe inject some perspective, and maybe a bit of humour into the whole situation.

My Darling Daughter,

Stop blubbering. I'm gone, and it's time to get on with it. And what's with keeping my ashes in the box they came in? It's getting crowded in here. An upgrade would be nice; bit more room, a couch. Maybe a lava-lamp...

Call your brothers.

Thank you for the collage you and Tomika made for my birthday. It's beautiful.

Are you STILL single? Just because I'm dead, doesn't mean I don't want more grand-babies. Hop to it kiddo, I haven't got all eternity. Oh wait... I have. But you don't. You're not getting any younger you know.

The Munchkin got BIG. Tell her Mima said "Hi". I've still got that double-barrelled shot gun if you need it. (For the boys, not her!)

My funeral was beautiful.

You're as clumsy as ever. Yeah I saw, I see EVERYTHING now... Mwahaha!!! (By the way, it's just a ring. Get over it. I'm quite attached to your fingers where they are thanks.)

Who do I have to pray to around here to get a cuppa?

Wow, you've gotten cuddly. What the hell did you eat?!

You've done a good job with the Munchkin, she's a great kid.

Get a hair cut.

That photo you have on your computer table... The one of me in 1981 with the bad perm? Get rid of it. You know you only have it there to annoy me.

I'm not in pain anymore.

Get over the Twilight obsession. Seriously, you're 35. It's creepy.

My chicken soup only has ONE packet of pasta, not three you drongo!

I appreciate everything you did for me those last few months. I sure as hell wouldn't enjoy helping you shower either!

I'm sorry for leaving.

I Love You.

Mum xox

R.I.P. Corey Haim

2010-03-11T02:25:00.000+11:00

I just found out that my Favourite Crush from my Favourite Movie when I was a Teenager has died at 38 from a accidental overdose.

Lost Boys was the original (and I think to this day the best) Vampire movie from the 80's.

So sad. R.I.P. Corey. You were such a cutie.

WARNING: GRATUITOUS USE OF BIG WORDS

2010-03-10T19:05:00.003+11:00

WARNING: THIS POST WILL INCLUDE GRATUITOUS USE OF BIG WORDS LIKE PHLEGM, UVULA, MONONUCLEOSIS AND STEAMING PILE OF CRAP.

(Just thought I'd let you know.)

At the moment I have this horrible, hacking cough, that reminds me very much of croup. However, considering I'm not under 4 years old (at least last time I looked), I'm pretty sure that's not it. Accompanying the cough is a sore throat. And also phlegm running down the back of my throat, which I can't shift, no matter what I do. (Trust me, I stuck my fingers in there to try to grab it. Nothing.) (Yes, I AM aware of how stupid and desperate a move that was.) (No, I will not be doing it again any-time soon. It hurt.) (Incidentally, I have a very healthy gag reflex in case you were wondering.)

MOVING ON ~ I'm at a loss as to what it is, and what to do. Owing to the almost constant company of medical personnel over the past few days, I am loathe to take myself to the doctors AGAIN. So I have come to you, dear, dear readers, to help diagnose my illness.

I have tried Nyal Bronchitis Cough Medicine. Nothing happened except that I realised that I don't like Nyal Bronchitis Cough Medicine. Seriously. I would hate to be Tomika right now and have me saying, 'Come on honey, I know it tastes bad, but it's GOOD for you.' S.T.U.F.F that. And twice on Sundays.

Every time I try to swallow, the phlegm gets caught over my (~~blowhole? snorkel?~~) oesophagus and I can't breathe. It's the strangest sensation I've ever experienced. I would equate it to snorting pineapple jelly (I don't know why pineapple, just because it's my favourite), and that feeling you get just afterwards when it's sliding down the back of your throat, and you realise that it was a very bad idea, and an even worse sensation. (Right about here I would advise you NOT to ask how I know that!)

I have tried Ethical Nutrients Immune Defence capsules. They taste like a steaming pile of crap. AND they don't DO anything. I certainly don't feel like I'm doing any defending. And last time I looked, my immune system had packed up and gone to Hawaii. (Where, incidentally, I believe I would get much better. Anyone...? No? It was worth a try.)

So currently, I look like this.

(And yes, I do have my flanny dressing gown on at 2.30 in the arvo.)

And because of the phlegm dancing on my uvula, I feel like this.

When I would much prefer to be doing this.

Hawaii here I come!

So what do you think? Do I have Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease? Infectious Mononucleosis maybe? A massive case of Acute Terminal Hypochondria?

Help!

Happy Birthday Mum

2010-03-09T19:01:00.002+11:00

It's your Birthday,
and if I could wrap love
in a ribbon,
it would be my gift
to you.

Mum,
we shared
so much,
I have enough memories
to fill my heart
for a thousand years.

I hope you always knew
how very special you were,
and how lucky the world was
to have you in it.

Happy Birthday Mum
with
so much love.

♪♪ Burn baby burn ♪♪

2010-03-09T01:49:00.003+11:00

Yesterday morning I was helping Tomika cook brunch, (a yummylicious menu of cheese scrambled eggs, bacon, tomatoes and mushrooms) when my feet decided it would be a great idea to trip over themselves sending me flying across the kitchen.

This in itself would have been ~~stupid clumsy~~ embarrassing enough, if I hadn't also tried to steady myself by ~~slamming down~~ delicately placing my hand, on the stove. Which had a pot on it. Which was hot. Because the burner was LIT!

The contents of the pot went flying, FORTUNATELY nowhere near Tomika, but unfortunately all over my hand and up my arm. And I managed to place my hand precisely where, had I a choice and time to think about it, I am totally sure would NOT have been my ideal location. Directly on the burner. Which, as I may have mentioned earlier, was lit.

As the seconds passed, a little voice in my head suggested, quite vehemently, that this was most definitely a bad place to have my hand.

Amidst much loud language that would have made a sailor blush, (Sorry Tomika!) I removed said hand from the stove (did I mention that the burner was lit?), and went reeling across the kitchen in the opposite direction in search of something to rid me of the horrible sensation of my flesh slowly and painfully melting from my bones. There was a niggling thought in the back of my brain telling me what I needed to do. Hello trusty kitchen sink and water. Cool. Clear. Water.

I held that hand under the running water for a good 45 minutes (water restrictions be damned, I was in PAIN!). Nothing. No relief at all.

Enter my brilliant idea. I got Tomika to fill a container with ice and water from the fridge and without no more thought than needing to stop my hand burning off, I plunged it in.

Now, anyone who has ever stuck their hand in an esky full of melted ice to grab the elusive stubby right at the bottom can attest. Ice + Water + Skin = A really bad combination that hurts like hell, then goes numb, then hurts like hell again once the numbness wears off. You better GodDamned enjoy that beer 'cause you 'aint going back for another anytime soon.

Imagine that. Times infinity.

Apparently; Ice + Water + Burnt Skin = FU****G JESUS H CHRIST OUCH THAT HURTS!

My hand came out of that ice so quickly the water went everywhere, and I was left with a twice-burned hand.

It seems that my brain was also frozen, as I was at a loss as to what to do. So I retreated back to the tap and called my local chemist. I dispatched Tomika with strict instructions to obtain 'whatever it takes to fix it'. Many dollars later, and I had what the Pharmacist assured me was Gods gift to 'minor' burns. Which would have been great, had I been able to take my hand out of the water for long enough to actually apply it.

My hand was red, blistered, swelling rapidly, and hurting. I was convinced no-one , no-where had ever burnt themselves as badly as me. So I rang an ambulance. (I know, I know, an over-reaction right? But wait, there's more.) Surprisingly they turned up fairly quickly. Their advice? Put it under cold water. Brilliant! Now why didn't I think of that?!

...4 HOURS LATER... The burn has cooled enough for me to finally be able to put on the patches and wrap it in an ice pack. Pain, pain, everywhere, and not a painkiller in sight. It's Sunday afternoon, the local Chemist has been closed for hours (I didn't think of it when Tomika was there earlier), and the nearest doctor is miles away.

So I call the locum doctor for a home visit. I am told by the ever-so-helpful receptionist that 'it will be a little while' so I settle in to wait.

...2.5 HOURS LATER... The doctor shows up, takes one look at my hand, and tells me that 'you should be in hospital', as my 'minor' burn was actually second-degree, and the ring on my swollen-to-twice-it's-normal-size finger, will need to be cut off now or my finger will need to be cut off later.

Wonderful.

He proceeded to call another ambulance for me to be taken to the hospital to have my ring removed, and my burn assessed and dressed properly. Then he also charged me mucho dinero for the privilege of his company.

The ambos turned up, Tomika and I climbed aboard, and we were whisked away to the depths of the Emergency department (upon dropping us off, they wished me well and made sure to hand me the bill).

The hospital put me in what is called the, 'fast track department'. I will give them props for that. They were ever so eager to chop my ring off. We only waited about 10 minutes before a helpful nurse came along and took me to a private room. She whipped out the cutter and asked for my hand.

That's when it hit me. They were going to cut off my ring . Mum's ring. Mum's friendship ring from when she was 16. The ring that hasn't left my finger since she died. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

I sat there silently, tears coursing down my face, my head on Tomika's chest while she held me and cried with me. It felt like they cut out my heart.

Afterwards they put the ring in a TEARzone® biohazard specimen bag (which Mum actually would have appreciated, it WAS kinda amusing), dressed my fingers, gave me some Panadeine Forte, and sent us home in a Taxi.

SO. After my physically and emotionally draining day, I have learned a few things.

Don't trip over your own feet whilst near an open flame.
Fire = Pain.
Boiled tomatoes = Pain.
Don't put ice/ice water on burns.
I know WAY too many swear words.
Don't get hurt on a Sunday.
Don't get hurt the day before a public holiday.
If you do burn yourself, take your jewellery off STRAIGHT AWAY!
I DISLIKE hospitals.
I LIKE Panadeine Forte.
Burning yourself is expensive.
Don't wear tight clothing. Ever. Seriously.
Next time I travel, I am packing the kitchen sink.
It is almost impossible to wash your hair with a bandage on your hand.
It is almost impossible to use a mouse or type with a bandage on your hand.
I can't take photos with my left hand.
I can't text with my left hand.
I can't wipe my bum with my left hand.
It's just a ring, it's just a ring, it's just a ring...
And finally... My daughter is the most gorgeous, wonderful, helpful, supportive, exceptional person, and I am OVERWHELMINGLY proud and privileged to be her mother.

Priceless.

2010-03-07T23:47:00.001+11:00

Home visit for burnt hand by locum doctor, $35. Ambulance trip to hospital, $630. Taxi ride home from the hospital, $16.40. Watching the nurse cut your dead mothers ring off your swollen finger 2 days before her birthday...

Priceless.

Even Mother Nature has a Mood Disorder!

2010-03-07T03:58:00.001+11:00

Okay, so I get that Summer is over, seriously, I really do. But do we have to leave the delicious sunny goodness behind quite so quickly?

I haven't been here for the past day or so for a few good reasons, one of which is... It has been storming like a motherf***er! (Pardon the potty mouth.) I mean, the GOD-DAMNED heavens opened up!

I have been too scared to turn on a bloody light, let alone my trusty PC, just in case I blew a fuse or electrocuted myself. And what would I do without my computer? Honestly, I'd be lost with no music, photos or email. Not to mention Facebook, Twitter, YouTube. More importantly, how would I cope without StuffOnMyCat.com?!

How do you find out what is going on in the world without online social networking?! OH MY GOD... ebay!!! *faint* I'd rather be in prison. (At least they get conjugal visits... Tee hee.) So I decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and stay 'offline' *double faint*. I have satiated my thirst for technology by snapping pics of the storm, and ~~cheating by getting online via my phone~~ spending time with Tomika.

Here is my visual diary of the past 24 hours.

Water from heaven.

Not so much.

(Yes people, that's hail. I thought the windows were going to cave in.)

Actual, visible raindrops. Will wonders never cease?

Hmmm... I think I might need a water craft of

some description here.

Should I start building an Ark?

Ooppss!!!

(Note to self ~ Find out if insurance covers flooding.)

You're braver than I my friend!

The bedroom got a new water feature.

(I wonder if I can claim it as holy oil...?)

Since when are bathrooms not waterproof?!

Is this what they mean by recycling water?

There's about an inch there. I shit you not.

Two VERY scared puppy dogs.

And one wet pussy cat.

Writers Workshop - I miss you...

2010-03-04T22:01:00.000+11:00

4th March 2010

5.) Who blind-sided you? Write about a time someone caught you totally off guard.

She was 52, and the strongest person I knew.

The cancer started at 40. In her left breast, then her lung, then it metastasised to her bones. The doctor gave her 6 Months. Even after they cut her breast off.

The Radiotherapy gave her second degree burns. They had to be covered in antiseptic and re-dressed twice a day. Chemotherapy was a bitch. She was sick, vomiting and shaking. She lost all her hair. So she stopped after one treatment. She said she'd rather LIVE, than live.

She needed oxygen 24/7, and help showering, so she moved in. On her birthday, she fell and broke her leg. Her bones were so brittle you see? I didn't get to her in time to catch her. Eventually they put her in a wheelchair. She hated the confinement. She couldn't move around, so she gained weight. She was beautiful.

During the day she would joke, play cards, do crosswords. She would knit, argue, laugh. At night she would moan from the pain. She cried in her sleep. She wet the bed. She screamed.

I loved her. I hated her.

On the 8th of April 2004 she left me.

I miss you Mum.

Brea's Befuddled Brain

I'm Still Alive...

Yes I was dead. But I got better. Thanks for asking.

This Is NOT For The Faint Hearted...

I'm obsessed... i.e. Find me a REAL man STAT!

OH DEAR GOD KILL ME. KILL ME NOW...

SOO... Apparently my poo-shooter exploded.

This post is brought to you via the Mercy Womens Hospital...

Days Of Our Lives - The Coordinator From Hell... Part 2

Oh No (S)he Didn't! Tuesday... Pick on my daughter will you? TAKE THAT!

Call Off The Health Department, She's Going To Live!

Damn it! Hurt Me. Just Leave Her Alone.

Call The CDC, This House Is A Quarantine Zone!

Naked Blogging Day

Friday Fatties - It's Better Than Nothing!

Ouch!

Mothers Day in the Befuddled Household

Welcome to teenage-hood my darling!

Friday Fatties and Friday Follow

Wordless Wednesday - I have NO words for this...

Okay so y'all don't love me. Except for y'all who do. Now even I'M confused...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Writers Workshop - PIMP My Back!

First with your head and then with your heart. . .

THE CAT IS PLOTTING TO KILL ME!

Writers Workshop - Mother's Day is Coming...

Wordless Wednesday - Bad Hair Day!

Post It Note Tuesday - Parent Teacher Interviews

Rocky - ♪♪Eye Of The Tiger...♪♪

I'm fashionably late to the Party... Yeah, so what else is new?

Who needs a Hairdresser when you have a Cuz like mine?

The One That Is a Blatant Appeal for Attention...

I used to be a fantastic cook. Then life got in the way...

Let's Play a Game... 'One Word' Tag!

Happiness Award - A Belated Thank You!

Writers Workshop - Bridge Over Troubled Waters.

R.I.P. Mum

Prison Break... I Broke!

The Ups and Downs of Bi-Polar Disorder

Wordless Wednesday - Clutter...

Post it note Tuesday - Motivate!

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Zip-a-dee-ay... My, Oh, My, What a Wonderful Day!

Dear G...

Writers Workshop - She is a TEENAGER, it is NORMAL.

TAG - YOU'RE IT!!!

Wordless Wednesday - I Tawt I Taw A Putty Tat...

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post... Part 2.

An Award, for me? Again? WELL OF COURSE!!!

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post...

Lately I don't sleep.

I am prejudiced, and so ashamed...

***Drumroll*** - And The Winner Is... ME!

Writers Workshop - The Best Day Ever!

My Toe Is A Pirate...

Wordless Wednesday - It's a hard-luck life...

HELP!

Sick, Sick, Sick!!!

The Storm of 6th March 2010

Writers Workshop - Beyond the grave...

R.I.P. Corey Haim

WARNING: GRATUITOUS USE OF BIG WORDS

Happy Birthday Mum

♪♪ Burn baby burn ♪♪

Priceless.

Even Mother Nature has a Mood Disorder!

Writers Workshop - I miss you...

Drumroll - And The Winner Is... ME!