Ouch!

Okay so apparently I slept upside down and on my neck last night.

Every time I try to move my head even the slightest bit, a red haze enters my sight and I end up in a world of pain.

Grr... I hate my bed!

♪♪ Burn baby burn ♪♪

 

Yesterday morning I was helping Tomika cook brunch, (a yummylicious menu of cheese scrambled eggs, bacon, tomatoes and mushrooms) when my feet decided it would be a great idea to trip over themselves sending me flying across the kitchen. 

This in itself would have been stupid clumsy embarrassing enough, if I hadn't also tried to steady myself by slamming down delicately placing my hand, on the stove. Which had a pot on it. Which was hot. Because the burner was LIT!

The contents of the pot went flying, FORTUNATELY nowhere near Tomika, but unfortunately all over my hand and up my arm. And I managed to place my hand precisely where, had I a choice and time to think about it, I am totally sure would NOT have been my ideal location. Directly on the burner. Which, as I may have mentioned earlier, was lit.

As the seconds passed, a little voice in my head suggested, quite vehemently, that this was most definitely a bad place to have my hand. 

Amidst much loud language that would have made a sailor blush, (Sorry Tomika!) I removed said hand from the stove (did I mention that the burner was lit?), and went reeling across the kitchen in the opposite direction in search of something to rid me of the horrible sensation of my flesh slowly and painfully melting from my bones. There was a niggling thought in the back of my brain telling me what I needed to do. Hello trusty kitchen sink and water. Cool. Clear. Water.

I held that hand under the running water for a good 45 minutes (water restrictions be damned, I was in PAIN!). Nothing. No relief at all.

Enter my brilliant idea. I got Tomika to fill a container with ice and water from the fridge and without no more thought than needing to stop my hand burning off, I plunged it in.

Now, anyone who has ever stuck their hand in an esky full of melted ice to grab the elusive stubby right at the bottom can attest. Ice + Water + Skin = A really bad combination that hurts like hell, then goes numb, then hurts like hell again once the numbness wears off. You better GodDamned enjoy that beer 'cause you 'aint going back for another anytime soon.

Imagine that. Times infinity.

Apparently; Ice + Water + Burnt Skin = FU****G JESUS H CHRIST OUCH THAT HURTS!

My hand came out of that ice so quickly the water went everywhere, and I was left with a twice-burned hand.

It seems that my brain was also frozen, as I was at a loss as to what to do. So I retreated back to the tap and called my local chemist. I dispatched Tomika with strict instructions to obtain 'whatever it takes to fix it'. Many dollars later, and I had what the Pharmacist assured me was Gods gift to 'minor' burns. Which would have been great, had I been able to take my hand out of the water for long enough to actually apply it.

My hand was red, blistered, swelling rapidly, and hurting. I was convinced no-one , no-where had ever burnt themselves as badly as me. So I rang an ambulance.  (I know, I know, an over-reaction right? But wait, there's more.) Surprisingly they turned up fairly quickly. Their advice? Put it under cold water. Brilliant! Now why didn't I think of that?!

...4 HOURS LATER... The burn has cooled enough for me to finally be able to put on the patches and wrap it in an ice pack. Pain, pain, everywhere,  and not a painkiller in sight. It's Sunday afternoon, the local Chemist has been closed for hours (I didn't think of it when Tomika was there earlier), and the nearest doctor is miles away.

So I call the locum doctor for a home visit. I am told by the ever-so-helpful receptionist that 'it will be a little while' so I settle in to wait.

...2.5 HOURS LATER... The doctor shows up, takes one look at my hand, and tells me that 'you should be in hospital', as my 'minor' burn was actually second-degree, and the ring on my swollen-to-twice-it's-normal-size finger, will need to be cut off now or my finger will need to be cut off later.

Wonderful.

He proceeded to call another ambulance for me to be taken to the hospital to have my ring removed, and my burn assessed and dressed properly. Then he also charged me mucho dinero for the privilege of his company.

The ambos turned up, Tomika and I climbed aboard, and we were whisked away to the depths of the Emergency department (upon dropping us off, they wished me well and made sure to hand me the bill).

The hospital put me in what is called the, 'fast track department'. I will give them props for that. They were ever so eager to chop my ring off. We only waited about 10 minutes before a helpful nurse came along and took me to a private room. She whipped out the cutter and asked for my hand.

That's when it hit me. They were going to cut off my ring . Mum's ring. Mum's friendship ring from when she was 16. The ring that hasn't left my finger since she died. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

I sat there silently, tears coursing down my face, my head on Tomika's chest while she held me and cried with me. It felt like they cut out my heart.

Afterwards they put the ring in a TEARzone® biohazard specimen bag (which Mum actually would have appreciated, it WAS kinda amusing), dressed my fingers, gave me some Panadeine Forte, and sent us home in a Taxi.

SO. After my physically and emotionally draining day, I have learned a few things.

1. Don't trip over your own feet whilst near an open flame.
2. Fire = Pain.
3. Boiled tomatoes = Pain.
4. Don't put ice/ice water on burns.
5. I know WAY too many swear words.
6. Don't get hurt on a Sunday.
7. Don't get hurt the day before a public holiday.
8. If you do burn yourself, take your jewellery off STRAIGHT AWAY!
9. I DISLIKE hospitals.
10. I LIKE Panadeine Forte.
11. Burning yourself is expensive.
12. Don't wear tight clothing. Ever. Seriously.
13. Next time I travel, I am packing the kitchen sink.
14. It is almost impossible to wash your hair with a bandage on your hand.
15. It is almost impossible to use a mouse or type with a bandage on your hand.
16. I can't take photos with my left hand.
17. I can't text with my left hand.
18. I can't wipe my bum with my left hand.
19. It's just a ring, it's just a ring, it's just a ring... 
20.  And finally...  My daughter is the most gorgeous, wonderful, helpful, supportive, exceptional person, and I am OVERWHELMINGLY proud and privileged to be her mother.

Writers Workshop - I am a child

 

(I originally had this posted on my Writers Workshop page, but for some reason the comment feature on Blogger static pages is currently not working, so it's here.)

25th February 2010

My second attempt. Let's hope this one is better!

3.) “What images inspire you immediately? Open a magazine and create a piece of writing (poem, story, essay) about the first image that captures your imagination.”

My inspiration came from a story about 15 year old Bridget Ford who has a problem that spoke to me.

 

I am a child

My body deceives

My appearance doubts

My mind in turmoil

Confused

My back aches

My shoulders distort

My pain persists

Daily

My peers tease

My elders stare

My inner conflict

Abounds

My parents defend

My friends covet

My nightmare asks

Why

My dearest wish

My breasts reduced

My worth enlarged

Please?

I am a child

Modern Day Medieval Torture Devices... i.e. Braces.

 

Okay.

So, for the past 6 weeks Tomika has been wearing what is called a 'Rapid Maxillary Expander' (RME) in her mouth. This, thing, is basically a modern day take on the medieval torture device, designed to wrench the jaw bones in the roof of your mouth apart so that your top teeth space out, and your top bite matches up with your bottom. It's what they use these days instead of ripping teeth out, and it's actually supposed to be better for the kids... Less painful and traumatic. Stupidly, as much as they SAY it's better, and call it a RAPID ME, it is, in fact. Excruciatingly. Painfully. Slow.

Every night before bed, she had to turn the barrel of the RME, which in turn forced the jaw bones out further. At the same time, it caused her two front teeth to separate, and a gap large enough to fit her pinky finger to appear in the middle.

Personally, I couldn't think of anything worse, but my girl is strong and confident. She handled the change to her appearance well.

Today she got her braces fitted.

Now it totally goes against my every motherly instinct to see my daughter in pain, and not do anything about it. Especially, if that pain is being inflicted on her by another person. But there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. I had to sit and watch while the Orthodontist stretched her lips as far as they could go, stuck her hands up to her elbows in Tomika's mouth, and all but weld these metal thingys to her teeth. She then proceeded to string them together with barb wire. (In my defence, I may have been a teensy bit biased.)

I wanted to punch her.

ANYWAY, after all that, the end result is this.

All prejudices aside, I like them. For some reason, I think she looks like a proper teenager now. Now I know that's a kinda stupid thing to say, and it's oh so stereotypical. But she now seems her age. Instead of a nearly-13-year-old-going-on-30-year-old. Until she speaks that is...

I'm hoping it will keep the boys away for a few more years. At least until I can get that shotgun I've been eyeing off, and the custom-made chastity belt.

Now there's a medieval device I can approve of!

Yesterday...

 

I thought I should explain about yesterdays post.

Those of you who know me know that I have chronic back pain caused mainly by having size double G breasts my whole adult life. I also have a hump in my spine from leaning forward to compensate, and indentations in my shoulders from the bra straps supporting their weight.

See below...

 

Here's a close-up shot.

  (Not the most flattering of shots, but you kinda get the idea...)

After waiting five and a half years, I was finally granted a breast reduction in June last year and I thought my problems were over.

This is me now.

 

And here.

 (Again, not a great shot... are you seeing a pattern here?)

Anyway, I was wrong.

Whilst the operation was a success (in that they removed 317 grams from my left breast and 305 grams from my right, making me a D cup - they couldn't go any smaller), and the weight is, literally, off, I still have almost constant back pain. APPARENTLY, the damage to my back, neck and shoulders was already done, so I have to live with it.

Which is fine, except occasionally I can't get out of bed, or function properly.

Yesterday was one of those days. Today... I'm *slightly* better.

So although I made the commitment to BEDUTEOF, unfortunately yesterday I just couldn't. I couldn't even get out of bed to take Tomika to school. She, (bless her heart) wanted to go quite badly, so we organised for her Poppy (her Dads Dad) to drive her. So a big THANKS to him for stepping up when I couldn't. Much appreciated.

Now that I've explained, I feel better and I'm going to lie down again.

Hopefully I'll be recovered tomorrow.