Thursday, July 12, 2012

Stupid Boy, Silly Girl.

I thought I'd give Mama Kat's Writers Workshop a go again.

It's been ages but I'm feeling bitter and twisted today and one of her prompts for this week gives me the perfect outlet for my overall yukkiness.

Mama’s Losin’ It

I've chosen prompt number 3. Write a poem that about a time you felt betrayed.

I had a relationship many years ago with a stupid horrible little boy younger man who was initially attracted to the pure awesomeness of me. I was 28 and he was 8 years younger than me (do the math) and had a body that reduced me to a puddle of teenage hormones. He was also a controlling, abusive, drug user, who made it his job (the only one he had) to stamp out my spirit. He would smoke, snort or inject anything he could find, then tell me what a horrible person I was. The guy was a prince. Of darkness. So why did I stay? Unfortunately his youth, cockiness (pun intended), and lack of inhibitions made him fan-fucking-tastic in bed. Oh and my mum was dying and I had absolutely no self-esteem. But mainly the sex thing. The relationship started in the years leading up to my mothers death and finished not long after when I finally recognized what he had done to me. It was the biggest mistake I ever made and it almost ruined me. I can still feel the effects of it. Or maybe that's lingering second-hand smoke. Either way it left me scarred. And semi-high. I wrote this, and a few others like it, to try to cleanse myself. A kind of mental detox. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

Stupid Boy, Silly Girl

I listen to music, and all day I read.
     Inspiring words, that relate to me.
           Pulling me in, sayin' Silly Girl.
Why’d you let this boy, take over your world?

I trusted you, and made us a home.
     I gave you my love, shared all that I owned.
          You took ev'ry breath, and demanded more.
 If I didn't submit, you showed me the door.

I had it all, was a flame so bright.
      A different thing to do ev’ry night.
           You locked me away, threw away the key.
And ev’ry one forgot about me.

You set out to break me, you told me so.
      And even then I couldn’t let you go.
           You challenged yourself, you made me succumb.
You even hurt me, while I buried my mum.

Did it ever occur to you it was wrong?
     (Stupid Boy)
I cannot believe that I stayed for so long.
     (Silly Girl)
You couldn’t decide between me and your bong.
     (Stupid Boy)
I suppose I should thank you for making me strong.
     (Silly Girl)

You left me alone dunno how many times.
      Coz I’m not as important as the boyz and some lines.
           Does your dope and your speed keep you warm in bed?
Can they make you dinner? Do they give good head?

You don’t own me no more, I’m out and I’m free.
     When I left you that day, I went out found me.
           I can live life again, friends still know my name.
I have people who love me, can you say the same?


  1. Wow, that was a silly girl. Glad you were able to finally leave.

  2. Your poem reminded me of ABBA's "The Winner Takes It All", one of my favorite songs.

    I can relate to it too, because Once Upon A Long Time Ago... I was a Silly Girl. UGH.

  3. How many of us haven't been that silly girl at some point? Glad you got out of it!

  4. Oh man, I am so glad that you are on the other side of things. I have been in toxic relationships and they are like a deep hole in mud... so hard to claw your way out.

  5. If he is anything like my ex, he can not say the same! Good for you for finding yourself again. It feels good, doesn't it?!

  6. To use the cliche, "What does not kill us makes us stronger"

    I'm glad you found your way out of an unhealthy situation and have learned and grown from it!


Thanks for taking the time to stop by! I absolutely LOVE comments!!!
But please, play nice okay?