Writers Workshop

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18th March 2010

Once again it is time for me to stretch my wings and delve into Mama Kat's ever-so-insightful prompts to show off my writing prowess. I have chosen prompt number one this week. Just because it was the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE, and I would re-live it over-and-over if I could.

1.) If you had to relive a day in your life what day would it be?

I was late, really late. And I was shitting myself. Deep down I just KNEW how it was going to turn out.

I raced in the door, apologising profusely, the receptionist smiled condescendingly and gave me a form to fill in. When I finished, she said, "It'll be a while, take a seat."

I sat down and looked around, tense as hell.

There were others waiting there too, and they were in the same differing states of apprehension.

Finally I was called in to the office and I faced a panel of experts. A PANEL. They reinforced the fact that I was late, and I nervously said I knew.

They talked to me for a while, asking me a mixture of surface and personal questions. How did I handle responsibility...? What would I do if...? And so on...

They explained their professional position, and their personal opinions, and asked me what my thoughts were.

I said I was pleasantly surprised, appreciative of their feedback, and that I would get back to them.

I floated out the door.

After being told by countless 'experts', it would NEVER happen...

I was PREGNANT!

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12th March 2010

It's Writers Workshop time with Mama Kat. This is my submission for this week. I know I'm a day or two late, I haven't been well...

1.) Write a letter to yourself from someone who has passed on. (ie: parent, grandparent, famous person, friend, pet, etc)

I seem to be surrounded by memories of my Mum these past few days. First last weeks Writers Workshop piece about being blindsided, then her ring having to be cut off my swollen finger, her Birthday on the 9th, and now her 6th Anniversary is coming up on the 8th April.

I decided to take on this weeks letter post to try to round out what I've been feeling, and maybe inject some perspective, and maybe a bit of humor into the whole situation.

My Darling Daughter,

Stop blubbering. I'm gone, and it's time to get on with it. And what's with keeping my ashes in the box they came in? It's getting crowded in here. An upgrade would be nice; bit more room, a couch. Maybe a lava-lamp...

Call your brothers.

Thank you for the collage you and Tomika made for my birthday. It's beautiful.

Are you STILL single? Just because I'm dead, doesn't mean I don't want more grand-babies. Hop to it kiddo, I haven't got all eternity. Oh wait... I have. But you don't. You're not getting any younger you know.

The Munchkin got BIG. Tell her Mima said "Hi". I've still got that double-barrelled shot gun if you need it. (For the boys, not her!)

My funeral was beautiful.

You're as clumsy as ever. Yeah I saw, I see EVERYTHING now... Mwahaha!!! (By the way, it's just a ring. Get over it. I'm quite attached to your fingers where they are thanks.)


Who do I have to pray to around here to get a cuppa?

Wow, you've gotten cuddly. What the hell did you eat?!

You've done a good job with the Munchkin, she's a great kid.

Get a hair cut.

That photo you have on your computer table... The one of me in 1981 with the bad perm? Get rid of it. You know you only have it there to annoy me.


I'm not in pain anymore.

Get over the Twilight obsession. Seriously, you're 35. It's creepy.

My chicken soup only has ONE packet of pasta, not three you drongo!


I appreciate everything you did for me those last few months. I sure as hell wouldn't enjoy helping you shower either!


I'm sorry for leaving.


I Love You.

Mum xox

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4th March 2010

5.) Who blind-sided you? Write about a time someone caught you totally off guard.

She was 52, and the strongest person I knew.

The cancer started at 40. In her left breast, then her lung, then it metastasised to her bones. The doctor gave her 6 Months. Even after they cut her breast off.

The Radiotherapy gave her second degree burns. They had to be covered in antiseptic and re-dressed twice a day. Chemotherapy was a bitch. She was sick, vomiting and shaking. She lost all her hair. So she stopped after one treatment. She said she'd rather LIVE, than live.

She needed oxygen 24/7, and help showering, so she moved in. On her birthday, she fell and broke her leg. Her bones were so brittle you see? I didn't get to her in time to catch her. Eventually they put her in a wheelchair. She hated the confinement. She couldn't move around, so she gained weight. She was beautiful.

During the day she would joke, play cards, do crosswords. She would knit, argue, laugh. At night she would moan from the pain.  She cried in her sleep. She wet the bed. She screamed.

I loved her. I hated her.

On the 8th of April 2004 she left me.

I miss you Mum.

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25th February 2010

My second attempt. Let's hope this one is better!

3.) “What images inspire you immediately? Open a magazine and create a piece of writing (poem, story, essay) about the first image that captures your imagination.”

My inspiration came from a story about 15 year old Bridget Ford who has a problem that spoke to me.

I am a child

My body deceives

My appearance doubts

My mind in turmoil

Confused

My back aches

My shoulders distort

My pain persists

Daily

My peers tease

My elders stare

My inner conflict

Abounds

My parents defend

My friends covet

My nightmare asks

Why

My dearest wish

My breasts reduced

My worth enlarged

Please?

I am a child

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18th February 2010

This is my first go at Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Actually I'm not terrific with writing about set topics so I'm thinking today's attempt isn't going to be that great. I'm hoping I'll get better as the weeks continue.

3.) Open your picture folders…find a random “February” picture from a past year and tell a story.

Boofie doesn't cuddle. Ever.

So when she jumped up on the bed and did this, I just had to take a photo.

Mind you, being February in Australia, it's stinking hot, so I could only handle it for about 5 minutes before having to shoo her away. Needless to say, she was less than impressed.

Milkshake will happily curl up with you any day of the week, any time of the year. He's just that kind of cat. Boofie however? Not so much. She is independent, opinionated, talkative, strong, a bit of a snob... Like me, actually.

I guess that's why I love her so much.