Days Of Our Lives - The Coordinator From Hell... Part 2

I'm going to preface this by saying, I am usually pretty level headed about most things, and I deal with them in a sometimes unsettlingly calm manner. And if my friends are any indication, I also give fairly good advice. Unless you mess with my daughter. Or the rest of my family. Or my friends. Or me. But mostly Tomika. 'Nuff said.

I originally had this post as a reply to the nice comments I received on my previous post, but it got WAAYY to long, so now it's here instead. If you don't know what I'm harping on about, you can go here to catch up.

Go on. I'll wait.

All good?

Okay then, moving on.

Thank you everyone all for your lovely comments and emails. It's great to get some feedback from other Mums on this issue. I was up all night after sending the email to Tomika's Coordinator, thinking, "Oh God, what have I done!"

It just really annoyed me that she was so condescending in her reply to my (initial) very polite email about the third new teacher for not only one subject, but three, being Science/Math/Health (same teacher), in three months, and my concern that Tomika was having trouble understanding her. These are critical subjects in her education, herein lies my problem.

I have met this coordinator woman once before at Parent Teacher interviews, and she had nothing good to say about Tomika at all. In fact I got the feeling that she just didn't like her, and she's not even one of her teachers! That's HER problem though, NOT Tomika's. If, however, I find out that my child is being discriminated against because of this woman's opinion or, God forbid, my complaint, she won't have to worry about harmless electronic mail, she'll have to watch her back! *1

The really sad part is that up until recently, Tomika was especially excited to study Science and the many wonderful new avenues the subject was opening up for her. She even went so far as to buy 6 different Science books by Dr Karl out of her own pocket money, before the school year had even started, and she devoured them in a matter of weeks (it took her months to read Twilight). However, that has changed with the commencement of this new teacher. Her interest has waned significantly because of her inability to follow along without huge effort on her behalf. She feels uncomfortable asking questions because then she would have to admit out loud that she can't understand the teacher's accent and, would you believe it, she was trying to spare the teacher's feelings!

I would go in and see the coordinator and the new teacher in person, if I wasn't afraid I might get emotional and bonk them both in the nose! *1

It's bloody frustrating to see Tomika's natural curiosity dampened like that over a stupid staffing issue at her school. You hear about things like this happening all the time, but you never dream that it will happen to you or your child. Tomika didn't have any serious problems at Primary School, aside from the normal testing the boundaries that kids all go through, all her teachers loved her and said she was a great kid who tries her hardest to impress. Possibly too hard in some cases.

Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no illusions when it comes to my daughter, as anyone who reads this blog can attest. But there are things that you just know about your child, about how far they will go in testing someone, before they are satisfied that they have pushed to the limit. And if I pull her up and question her about something, she usually crumbles into a teary mess and admits what she's done. This time she got upset for a different reason, and I could tell the difference straight away. She was fully indignant that she had been accused of, and punished, for something that wasn't her doing.

Is it any wonder that I'm upset? And now, apparently, I'm also rambling.

Grrr... I can't wait to hear her response!

Stay tuned for the next instalment of Days Of Our Lives. Oh wait... It only feels like I'm in a bad serial TV soap!

__________

*1. Figuratively, not literally. I am actually extremely anti-violence, and quite mild-mannered. Also, infuriatingly, I usually totally back down when confronted by an actual person (hence the email). Give me a pen and paper though, (or in this case, a PC and internet connection) and I will strongly-worded-letter you to death! *2

*2. Well not to death as such .*4 More to distraction. *3

*3. Okay, so maybe not to distraction either. But I'll have a damn good go at annoying you for a minute or two!

*4. I would hate it if someone were to actually die from one of my letters. That would be terrible. Or interesting. A paper cut to the jugular perhaps? Braining themselves on the PC desk? Decisions, decisions... *5

*5. The above point may or may not be a complete lie. Feel free to ignore it at your leisure. Or not. I'm convinced I'm currently totally bonkers and sleep deprived, and I think I'd best take another valium and have a bit of a lie down before I say something completely moronic and undermine all the good I've done in the past 24 hours. Like that. *6

*6. Now I'm confused, what was the question again?

Oh No (S)he Didn't! Tuesday... Pick on my daughter will you? TAKE THAT!

 

Dear Middle School Coordinator,

Thank you for your response regarding my concerned email about Tomika's needing to follow the third-in-three-months new Maths/Science/Health teacher by what is written on the board, because of her inability to understand her or even pronounce her name.

Thank you also for the information, but I am fully aware of the conduct card that Tomika was given. She informed me the same day she got it, and told me of the circumstances under which she earned it. She was very upset about it actually, and believes that it was undeserved. Usually when confronted, Tomika will admit her mistake and accept any set punishment, so in this case I am inclined to believe her. Unless there is another incident of which I am unaware, I think that she was well within her rights to stand up for herself against the transgression that she was charged with, and that the card was awarded to her without adequate proof of her supposed crime. I have taught Tomika to respect authority figures, and accept discipline, but more importantly to stand up for herself and what she believes in. Consequently, I do not view the conduct card as of terrible import in the grand scheme of things.

With regard to your feeling that Tomika is not focussed on her learning, I’ll admit that I’m particularly surprised to hear this. Tomika spends several hours every day on Homework, sometimes becoming engrossed to the point of ridiculousness. I know this to be true because her Homework area is in the same room as me. I have also spoken to Tomika’s teachers, all except the new one, and they assure me that they are all happy with Tomika’s progress to date.

In fact, she has just received excellent grades on both her Textiles and English schoolwork, and upon speaking with her English teacher I was told he was extremely impressed with her dedication and organisation on her recent Images of Greatness assignment. In addition, her German teacher tells me she is doing well and her attitude in class is great, and her Music teacher is so happy with her swift comprehension and completion of set tasks along with her work ethic, she could not praise her highly enough. She has even suggested that Tomika not only come to her for extra work when she finishes her own, but that she help teach the other children when they need help. This list includes her previous Math/Science/Health teacher who didn’t have a problem with Tomika’s work at all, she actually said that her test scores were improving steadily, and she didn’t even remember the incident that you spoke to me about on the phone that you said was so terrible, even when directly questioned about it.

So in respect of these reports, I would be very interested for you to supply me with a list of the areas in which you think that she requires assistance. If Tomika indeed needs as much help in her classes as you suggest, I question why it is that her actual teachers are telling me differently.

Having said that, none of those things are the subject of my concern, nor what I have initially contacted you about.

I can appreciate your assertion that the new teacher is experienced, however I can’t help but question if the reason Tomika is having troubles in the math/science/health classes are due to her not being able to get comfortable, and therefore invest herself totally into the trust of her teacher, being that there has been so many upheavals with teachers coming and going. Please bear in mind that I am not merely trying to make waves on the say so of my own child who is simply ‘having a whinge’, I am also taking into account the reports that I have heard from other parents with the same worries as myself. I cannot be led to believe that every student that has complained about their inability to understand the new teacher is due to their own folly.

I must add, I find it quite troubling that instead of assuring me that you will look into my concerns about the new teacher, and perhaps offer assistance or alternatives for helping Tomika feel at ease with her, you have greeted my worries by merely thanking me, saying she has worked at the school for a few years and is an outstanding and dedicated teacher, and then taking an offensive stance and blaming Tomika’s supposed lack of focus on her learning.

For the record, Tomika has been at Primary school for the past 7 years, and has been an outstanding and dedicated student the entire time. I sincerely hope that this has made you feel as comforted and encouraged as your affirmation has made me.

Thank you.

Kind Regards,

Indignant Mother

Call Off The Health Department, She's Going To Live!

 

Tomika has kicked the virus's butt and is back at school. Thank whatever Deity you like, God *1, Buddha *2, Amun-Ra *3... Batman *4; she's okay. All that angst for nothing.

I feel kinda silly about my last post, I was exhausted and emotional, and after reading it again I seriously considered deleting it. But you know what? I won't, because that's me, uncensored. I mean, the BPD aside, I am an emotional person when it comes to my family, especially my daughter, although I'm not usually such a gutter-mouth! So my last post stands, swearing and all. Although I think I'll add a R+ rating warning to it, just to be sure.

Hang on...

Done.

Tomika may be over the worst of it, but I am feeling the pain. I stubbornly fought tooth and nail against it all week, telling myself, like the little engine that could, I will not succumb, I will not succumb, I will not succumb! I couldn't afford to with a sick child to worry about.

However... this morning I woke up with a cough. Just a small cough, a mere tickle. But a cough none-the-less. I have since taken approximately 15 vitamin C tablets, 2 immune defence capsules, 2 shots of cough mixture, a horse-tablet-sized multi-vitamin, and 3 eggs on toast (for good luck). And it's only 11am. Am I over-reacting? You bet I am. I WILL NOT SUCCUMB!

In the spirit of my melodramatic nature, I have shipped Tomika off to her fathers for a week. I am satisfied that she is pretty well over it, and I refuse to have it circle around to her again if it turns out that I am a germ factory. I am determined to fight this bio-warfare independently.

OH! How's this... The Doctor actually had the gall to tell me to, "keep your distance from Tomika, as she will be extremely contagious"... HA! Yeah right! Hello... Doc? Do you actually have children? Y'know the ones, people, only smaller? You try staying away from your own sick child. It's like telling the sun it's not allowed to come up for a week because the stupid Humans can't stay out of it and are dying from skin cancer. A great idea in theory... Not. Gonna. Happen.

So Tomika is at her Dads, I am stubbornly NOT sick, and it's cold as Dante's Ninth Circle of Hell.

Welcome to Winter baby!

__________

*1. God - When I did a Google search on God it came back with about 381,000,000 results in 0.18 seconds. - Holy moly!

*2. Buddha - A Buddha is a person who is completely free from all faults and mental obstructions. - i.e. Me.

*3. Amun-Ra - King of the gods of Egypt. He is believed to be the physical father of all Pharaohs. - (That's a lot of divine sex. I wonder if that's why all the Pharaohs are buried with their pussies? (Yes, I went there.))

*4. Batman - God of six-pack abs and crotch stuffing.

Damn it! Hurt Me. Just Leave Her Alone.

Firstly - I'm sorry for this post, I'm too drained to censure it, and I have to get it out of my head before the scattered thoughts that are threatening to drink my spine juice and eat my brain from the inside out actually succeed.

 

 

2nd - After a night full of delirium filled with horrible nightmares and hallucinations which included crying out for her Mima (my Mum), Tomika's fever finally broke and she is getting better. Thank fuck. I'm positive there are times when I've been more scared by things before this week, but at this exact moment, I can't think of a single one.

There is nothing worse in this world than seeing your baby, your heart and soul, in pain, and not be able to do anything about it. It hurts. It hurts like hell. Deep down in that place that no one ever sees, that place that you don't even know is there until it starts bleeding, it hurts. It rips out your insides and shits all over them.

But you hold it together, because you have to, for her. Because absolute terror is absolutely catching. And that's the last thing she needs to see. You hold it together because you are Mother. And Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.*

So now that she's on the mend, I can be absolutely, bluntly, honest with myself. She scared the fuck outta me, and I don't like it. I don't like it at all. Where the hell was the chapter on this in that bloody parenting book?!

Jesus, right about now is when I really need my Mummy. I just want to hear her tell me that I'm doing it right. Is that so bloody much to ask? She never told me about this before she left. I don't want to look on the internet for the answers. I don't want to second guess myself about how much and how often. I want to call my Mum and cry and tell her my baby is sick and ask her what to do. Fuck fuck fuck.

Sorry... Tantrum over, I'm ok now.

C - Friday Fatties

Lets lighten the mood a little shall we?

So apparently running around like a chook with it's head cut off after a sick Tomika is not as conducive to losing weight as one would expect. Go figure.

Starting Weight: 82.5 kgs

Last Friday:       81.7 kgs

Loss of:             800 grams

This Friday:       82.2 kgs

Gain of:             500 grams

Total Loss:        300 grams

Note To Self - Lack of sleep and stress doesn't result in weight loss. Actually it causes eat-whatever-you-can-stuff-in-your-mouth-when-you-start-feeling-faint-and-finally-remember-you-haven't-eaten-for-8-and-a-half-hours. With cheese.

Shit hey. I hereby declare this weeks FF cancelled due to lack of interest. Like Christmas.

Oh well. Just call me The Grinch.

_____________
*The Crow (1994)

Call The CDC, This House Is A Quarantine Zone!

I haven't had two minutes to stop and smell the roses this week. Tomika has been sick as a dog with a virus. So the Doctor says anyway. The poor little bugger has had a sore throat, cough, runny nose, aching limbs, and her asthma has been really, really bad. So bad in fact, that I have had her sleeping in my bed so that I can keep an eye on her during the night.

Neither of us has slept much, her because she can't breathe, and me because I'm too scared to sleep in case something happens and I don't catch it in time. Needless to say, we are both exhausted, her being worse, obviously.

She's finally asleep, for the moment anyway, and I thought I'd take a sec to myself to come on and update here before I'm back on duty. If she's still this bad tomorrow, I'm taking her into the hospital.

Bloody hell... Nobody ever told me that being a Mum would be this terrifying!

Naked Blogging Day

For those of you who just got a little excited... No. I don't mean blogging without clothes, although if you want to do that, that's your business I guess. Although I wouldn't personally do it. Probably. Knowing my luck, someone would hack my web-cam and I'd end up being slapped with a lawsuit for indecent exposure. Because it would be. Indecent that is. In fact it would be kinda horrible. So I won't do it. You're welcome internet.

What I mean is blogging without make-up.

Apparently there is a meme going around (courtesy of BlogHer) at the moment that is encouraging women to take a photo of themselves sans make-up, and post it on their blogs.

Now... This is what I figure... I don't usually wear make-up, I honestly can't be bothered, and I am not at all shy to post a photo or two of myself looking, well... shall we say, bare-faced... as evidenced by these - few - posts.

So I figured I would go you one better, and post a picture of myself actually wearing make-up. Yeah, I know. Will wonders never cease? So here you go.

Eeek! Please ignore the un-waxed eyebrows!

As we can all see, not that much of a difference. Now you understand why I don't bother.

The funny thing is... I am actually a fully qualified make-up artist. Yeah I know, who'd a thunk it right? Well when I was 16 I took a make-up artistry course at TAFE, and I've been qualified since I graduated (obviously!) at around 18.

So if you need a wedding done. I can do it. If you are in a movie and need your make-up done for a scene. That's me. If you need a bruise or two, or a slit throat. I'm your girl... I mean... I can do your make up so that you LOOK like you have bruises and a slit throat... I'm not actually going to hit you... Probably... Unless you like that sort of thing... No, that's just silly... Not that there's anything wrong with it... I'm going to shut up now.

Friday Fatties - It's Better Than Nothing!

Well it's weigh in time and I lost weight!

Excuse me for a sec while I happy dance... (Go me. Go me. Go go, go me!)

Okay I'm back.

I have lost, a grand total of... Drumroll please...

800 grams. (Or 1.8 pounds.)

Woo Hoo!

800 grams. Huh. All the killing myself exercising, all the starving myself stupid, and I lost 800-bloody-grams.

Eh... A loss, is a loss, is a loss. I guess. At least I didn't gain weight.

Now THAT would have been annoying.

Ouch!

Okay so apparently I slept upside down and on my neck last night.

Every time I try to move my head even the slightest bit, a red haze enters my sight and I end up in a world of pain.

Grr... I hate my bed!

Mothers Day in the Befuddled Household

Happy Mothers Day Everyone!!!

Welcome to teenage-hood my darling!

Happy 13th Birthday Tomika

... 

At least Mummy loves you!

Friday Fatties and Friday Follow

Okay. So I don't usually mix up my posts into more than one subject. (Well, except for the first few posts I did.) I find it hard enough to keep track of what I am actually writing about, let alone several things at a time! But today I really, really wanted to do a couple of different things, and I really, really couldn't be bothered writing numerous posts... So I decided to give it a try. Here goes.

Friday Fatties

Christie from Mommy Drinks Because You Cry, and Pamela from 2 Much Testosterone have started up a thingy they are calling Friday Fatties, whereby all of us Fat Heffa's come together every Friday (duh) and become accountable for our weight by announcing it to the world at large. (Or in my case, the 5 people who actually put up with my inane ramblings.)

This is my first week of participating, and I hope that it will become a regular thing.

Okay, so here goes. Umm... Ready, and, go! AAANNNDDD GO! (Come on you sook!)

Okay... Take two. And... GO!!!

I currently weigh... As of 6pm tonight... A whopping... (Stop stalling woman!)

82.5 kg.

There. I said it. And no, thankyouverymuchChristieandPamela, I do not feel better!

Wow. 82.5kg. Or 181.9 pounds for all you Imperialists. Come to think of it, I think I'll stick with the Metric system thanks. It doesn't sound quite as bad.

I went to my doctor on Tuesday with this challenge in the back of my head, along with the very real fear that I am having trouble breathing when I lay on my back, and I have heart palpitations when I lay down, and sit up, and generally do anything more strenuous than breathing; and he gave me some pills that help you lose weight. Not diet pills as such, no, nothing as simple as an appetite suppressant, these are MUCH better. These little babies make it impossible for your body to digest fat, and (wait for it)... they give you diarrhoea if you try to eat anything that your body disagrees with!

Great! So now not only will I be deprived of food containing anything resembling flavour, but if I do try to eat something at all yummy, I'll be stuck on the loo for hours as punishment for my sins!

Hmm... Do I really need to lose THAT much weight? Really, really? Maybe I can just tie a long sleeved top around my waist...

Friday Follow

This one, luckily, only requires me to add these buttons, and go and link up at the host site, Midday Escapes.





So after all my angst, I didn't really do much did I? I WAS going to add Mama Ka't's Writer's Workshop as well, as I try to do it as often as possible, but this week with Mother's Day nigh, most of the prompts are about Mums, and I kinda don't want to go there again so close to the day itself...


Just for you, under the TMI label, I've been taking the pills the Doc gave me and my week has not been pretty. Come to think of it, I'm going to have a bit of a lie down now...

Wordless Wednesday - I have NO words for this...

Wordless Wednesday brought to you by the lovely ladies at
5 Minutes For Mum. Thanks ladies!

Okay so y'all don't love me. Except for y'all who do. Now even I'M confused...

 

So my 100-Followers-by-my-Birthday-Goal was a ripping success. I made it to 100 with plenty of time to spare, and now I'm... Hmmm, yes? Huh? I beg your pardon? I, uh, didn't make it you say? But I... Oh... I seem to have failed miserably. Right then.

Now IF I was the type of person to wallow in disappointment, (who me? Pfft.) I would be a blubbering mess right about now. Sobbing and snotting into my pillow, cuddling the cat to within an inch of it's life, wailing "Why OH Why don't they love me?" Luckily for you, and the cat, I'm not. (HA! I may have gotten slightly depressed, and there may have been some snot involved... I'm just sayin'.)

I have decided, instead, to cheat. Now I can hear you all now. Brea? No... She wouldn't cheat. Not Mz Befuddled herself. She has too much integrity! Now firstly let me say, Thanks for sticking up for me. And secondly, You are delusional. Don't you know me at all? Of course I'm going to cheat! I was ALWAYS going to cheat if I didn't make it. It just took me a bit to figure out how... Quiet now, hear me out! This way, I get my 100 Followers, and don't die in a crushing wave of defeat... And you get prezzies.

So we all win really.

I have managed to scrabble together 77 Followers on my blog page via Google Friend Connect. 77 Amazing and Wonderful people who don't mind if I call them names, and tell them I don't love them on a semi-regular basis. (When they know I totally do.) HOWEVER. I have also managed to attain 30 magnificent Followers via Facebook NetworkedBlogs, (buggered if I know how!?) and I am ABSOLUTELY counting them too.

SOOO... 77 + 30 = 107. FIGJAM baby!!!

I am still deciding on the prize to be given away, it will probably be either a CD of myself singing songs with the word 'Toilet' in the title, or an 64 page album containing photos of my cats. It's a big decision so I'm not going to rush it.

Stay tuned for the big reveal!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Brea's not here at the moment on account of IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

YAY ME!

I'm 36 today and not ashamed to say it. I love that I'm getting older, and that my misspent youth is behind me.

That's All.

See you tomorrow!