Tuesday, April 27, 2010

THE CAT IS PLOTTING TO KILL ME!



Seriously. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

Every time I try to walk somewhere, he flies across in front of me at warp speed like an absolute mental. I have tripped over the bloody thing so many times, I'm surprised neither of us has broken a limb.

And it's not like he's a small cat either. If he was just this tiny ball of fluff, I could just kick move him out of the way and keep going. But no... He's a bloody great beanbag with eyes. If I ever do fall over him properly, I'm going down like a sack of potato's. I'm going to end up killing either myself, him, or both of us.

I'm convinced that as soon as he does it, and I trip (and he WAITS for me to stumble... he. pauses. for. just. a. second.), he goes off to wherever it is that happy cats go, HappyCatLand or something, sniggers to himself, and plots the next fly-by. He thinks it's hilarious.

It's NOT funny. It's a sinister plot to get me down to his level so that he can disable me and TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

Grrr!!!


Bloody cat.


OH NO HE DIDN'T! TUESDAY Large Button

11 comments:

  1. and this is why i despise cats - because they're evil malicious little flea bags!

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  2. I can't tell you how many times I've yelled "this f*cking cat is trying to kill me!"
    They all want us dead so they can take over the world. They forget that someone has to be alive to feed them - someone with THUMBS!!

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  3. I would love for you to make me a button. That would be cool thank you so much.

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  4. OH NO HE DIDN'T!
    You see, you just totally confirmed my reasons behind NOT having a cat. We had one when I was younger and it attacked me all the time! He'd hide under the bed & lunge out anytime I walked by. He'd also jump on my face while I was asleep! lol
    Thanks for stopping by and linking up! You're my first "OH NO HE DIDN'T!" participant! Thanks for playing along with me today! :)

    Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud
    @TweetingMama

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  5. LOL. Yeah I couldnt have a cat either. They really are evil!

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  6. This made me giggle. I had a cat once that liked to hide around the corner and swipe your legs as you walked by, and umm...your butt when you were DOTD, since he also had the ability to open doors. Yep. Not so pleasant. LOL.

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  7. Hi Brea! Just wanted to let you know that I'll be tweeting the link to your post to my followers on Twitter. :)

    Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud
    @TweetingMama

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  8. Ha my motherinlaws cat is the same way! he hides in the corner and waits for you to walk by then he attacks you!

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  9. many times i have gone thru the same thing with a cat that is why i dont have one anymore...lol..

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  10. HAhahaha! Stupid cats why do they do that? I know. Cause they think it is funny as all get out. Dumb cats.

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