By now most of you know that I had an Anonymous commenter make some pretty
horrible remarks hefty insinuations on a post of mine the other day telling me that I shouldn't be posting about Tomika. Their thoughts were that by writing about her doings, posting photo's, and her real name, I was putting her in danger of a host of horrible things happening, not the least of being kidnapping.
I responded by defending myself, (quite snappishly I'll admit) but then I got to thinking...
How much is too much?
I posted my question to Mama Kat on Mama's Losin' It! - a blog that is well known and popular with other Mums - the kind of community I am hoping to tap into.
This is what I said...
Hi Mama Kat,
Quick question. I am new to the blogging world, having clocked up less than 2 weeks worth of posts, and I have just had an ‘Anonymous’ commenter slam me for blogging about my daughter, mentioning her by name, posting photos and up-to-date stories about her.
I have not mentioned anywhere in my blog where we live, Country OR State, or what school she goes to.
I have also seen, on several other blogs, that other parents do the same thing as me. Some even mention where they live.
I was wondering, as a fellow blogger who posts about your family, what are your thoughts on the subject?
To which Mama Kat responded...
That’s a quick LOADED question. :) And I like it. Is it possible the person slamming you is somebody who knows you in real life and is disagreeing with your choice to blog?
Here’s the thing. There are people more important and more famous than us who’s entire lives are photographed and tracked. We know their kids’ names, we know where they live, we know where they vacation, etc.
Are we taking risks by allowing people to see our children on the internet? Yes. How great are the risks? I don’t know. Are there freaks out there? Yes and they scare the crap out of me. But are we taking those same risks when I take my kids ANYWHERE in public? Yes. There will always be creeps. I refuse to live in fear of them.
I recommend following your instincts. Since you’re so new it might not be a bad idea to give your kids nicknames if it would make you feel more comfortable.
Keeping your last name and the exact location of your home off your blog is definitely wise, but if someone is determined to find you, they probably will. It’s such a touchy topic. We all want to do what’s best for our kids and so many people take opposing views on this. I’m wishy washy, but obviously you see my decision was to allow my kids and their names to be posted in full view. That’s the side I choose.
Hope this helped!!!
As a follow up to this query, Mama Kat added my question to this weeks Writers Workshop for other bloggers to add their own thoughts. Subsequently I found out that this is a popular subject among the blogging community, and there are a myriad of different thoughts and opinions regarding it. You can read about them below.
I would like to say a HUGE thank you to every one who wrote about this subject. Your collective advice has helped me heaps. And they have brought me to this decision.
I will write what I choose to write about my family... And no other person, especially someone who hides behind the banner of Anonymity, will make me feel bad about that. My choice to include my daughter in my blogging was deliberate and not made lightly. My daughter is aware of the blog, she knows I write about her, she has even read it and given me her full support. We BOTH know the risks, and have decided that by withholding identifying landmarks, it was on par with me letting her go out with friends without an accompanying adult.
Having said that, I have decided to change the name of my blog, just in case.
So from now on I shall be known as *drum roll please*...
Brea's Befuddled Brain - The Chaotic Thoughts Of A Single Mum
Cool huh? The change is currently under-way and should be in place by tomorrow.
Below is my WALL OF FAME. A list of bloggers who so kindly lent some brain time to my dilemma. Here you are guys, my ode to you...
Mama Kat @ Mama's Losin' It!
MarfMom @ Musings Of A Marfan Mom
Tammy @ A Red Neck Diva's Kitchen
Gregory @ Day To Day With Gregory J
Amethyst Moon @ Life, Music And Laughter
Linds @ A Dollop Of My Life
Tara @ Tara On The Wander
Brandi @ Life With 5 Monkeys And 1 Ape
Jen @ Nifer Musings
Lourie @ C A Girl
Kyrsten @ Mommy Inbetween
Sunday @ WYSIWYG
Heather @ Caffine And Dreams
Lindsey @ Tattie Tats
Plus my thanks also go out to the countless people who commented on the posts...