You know how I try to refrain from calling Tomika an idiot? Well today I found myself stuck between a rock and a hard place.
On the one hand, she is a lovely girl who is thoughtful and super aware of the world around her. On the other hand, she is a typical teenager who doesn't think, and is totally oblivious of anything that is going on.
Today when I picked her up from choir practice after school she climbed into the car without a word to me. This, in itself, is suspicious. She is usually quite vociferous, babbling about her day, her friends, and talking on the phone to said friends, until it drives me batty. The other thing that didn't quite fit was the fact that she didn't have her school bag with her. I, being the attentive, observant Mum that I am, asked her if maybe, she had forgotten something. She looked at me blankly and said, "Ummm, noo... Why?". To which I replied patiently, "Where is your school bag?". "Oh that," she said, "it was stolen."
After quite a bit of questioning, and a few tears, I finally got to the bottom of the story. It seemed that Tomika's locker was full, so she, in her infinite wisdom, decided it would be a good idea to put her bag in the unowned, unlocked, locker below hers.
I (quite sensibly I thought), proceeded to loose my mind. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU PUT IT IN ANOTHER LOCKER, ARE YOU INSANE??!!", "I'M NOT MADE OF MONEY... ARE YOU TRYING TO PUT ME IN THE POORHOUSE??!!", "SCHOOLBAGS DON'T GROW ON TREES YOU KNOW!!" (Oh God... I'm my Mother.)
The bag, I found out, contained: clothing, her wallet, and her (brand new) phone, (not her books, thank you Jesus). Added to the fact that the bag itself was quite pricey, in all it was a wholly stupid, and very expensive, exercise.
Lots of talking and MANY tears later, she FINALLY realised what it was that she had done. (But Mum, it's not my FAULT! I didn't ASK for it to be stolen.) And being the mean and horrible Mum that I am, I grounded her. I did. For a month. No friends, no TV, no computer, no WII, no DS, and absolutely no music.
It took me a total of 4.7 minutes to regret it. I suddenly realised what a totally dumb thing grounding is. Not only is it a punishment for her. It's a punishment for ME. Who is it that now has to think up things for her to do? Me. Who is it that now has to put up with her whining every 5 minutes that she is 'booorrreeeddd'? Me. Who is it that now has to stop her from lurking around the corner of the lounge room, sneakily watching the TV? (You're so MEAN!) Yup. Me.
Who is it that now has to give up MY social life, because SHE isn't allowed to go out, and she's too young to stay at home on her own? That's right.
Unthinking. Moronic. Me.
I hate long term punishments because it only punishes me. Our kids don't have lockers. They carry their backpacks all day. They have books in class and books at home. It's good and bad. Good because you don't have the excuse of: I left my book at school/home. BAd because even tho they carry no books, still those things weigh 20 + pounds!
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